Teaching "relax" is different from teaching a dog a skill such as "sit" or "down."
You can’t force your dog to be calm in chaotic environments or stressful situations, such as vet visits. But teaching the "relax" cue can help prompt your dog to settle herself more and avoid getting completely hyped up.
Teaching "relax" involves waiting for your dog to naturally relax on her own, associating a word with that, and calmly praising her. You will then reward the behavior as it happens naturally. This is called "capturing a behavior."
Step 1: Teach your dog to relax (capture the behavior)
To begin, think about the situations in which your dog begins to relax on her own, such as when she lies down after a walk or play session. Plan to be with your dog at those times during the day. You’ll only need to be with her for a few minutes.
- First, look for signs that your dog is starting to relax such as lying down, letting out a sigh after activity, resting her head, or crawling next to you for a nap or cuddle.
- When your dog shows signs of relaxing, quietly say "Relax."
- If touching your dog usually calms her down, you can gently and slowly stroke her fur. Keep your motions slow and your voice soft. If touching your dog excites her, don’t touch her at this step.
- Repeat this at various times of the day when you see her in that position and in a calm state.
- Repeat this over several days. At this phase, you are still waiting for your dog to relax on her own, and then saying ‘relax’ to associate that word with the actions of relaxation.
Step 2: Teach your dog to relax (prompt using the cue)
After you’ve completed step one over several days, you will then prompt her to relax by saying "relax" just before she shows signs of settling.
- Plan to be with your dog during the times that you practiced the above steps. But, instead of waiting for her to show signs of relaxation, say "relax" after her active time has ended, but before she starts winding down on her own. Ideally, you'd say your cue during that "sweet spot" moment just as she's thinking of relaxing.
- When you see the right time, or your best guess at the right time, say "relax" as you did in the above steps.
- If you see signs of your dog relaxing, quietly praise her, saying something like "That’s it" or "Good dog."
- You can gently and slowly stroke her fur, as you did in the first steps. Again, keep your motions slow and your voice soft.
- Repeat this exercise a number of times over a few days. Your dog should start to show relaxation signs when you say the word "relax."
- Over time, which could be days or weeks, try asking your dog to relax in busier environments and situations, but only after you’ve practiced a great deal in quieter situations and you’ve seen your dog respond with calmer behaviors. This isn’t a process you can rush! Enjoy and reward small successes while working toward busier situations.
Troubleshooting
- If your dog has responded to "relax" at home but doesn’t respond when outside or away from home, it’s likely she’s not able to calm herself in that situation. Move to a quieter area and ask again, or just realize that you’ll need to practice more with smaller steps of difficulty.
- If you're in a busy environment, wait for a lull in the action before asking your dog to relax. and always make sure she does not feel compromised in a lying-down position.
- Practice in environments where your dog is comfortable, and not in environments your dog finds scary, such as at the vet. You want to make sure the cue has a positive association and isn’t associated with something your dog fears.
