Banned from Woolworths

[Sarah83]

Banned from Woolworths- Didn't like shopping there anyway


Yesterday I was at my local Woolworths buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.


What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

I'm now banned from Woolworths.

Better watch what you ask retired people.


They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.

[chay]

fantastic

[maximoo]

LOL...rotflmao


I didn't know woolworths was still around. I haven't seen one in over 20 yrs. They all closed down.(in NY anyway)

Where is this woolworths located?

And I must inform you Purina is a very poor quality of food. Please consider getting a better food for your pooch.

[chay]

maximoo, not sure where sarah's story originates from, but i live in australia and woolworths is one of the main supermarket chains over here

[Pol]

...I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit us both...

ROFL!

[Sarah83]

And I must inform you Purina is a very poor quality of food. Please consider getting a better food for your pooch.

I don't feed Purina and this didn't happen to me personally, I just got the story sent to me in an email and thought folks here would appreciate it. Sorry, should have made that clear in the OP but my computer kept stuttering and threatening to crash on me so I just posted it.

I've not seen a Woolworths for a while either. There was one about a 30 min bus ride from me in Manchester though.

[wvvdiup1]

[thepennywhistle]

Well, whoever said it, I thank you for sharing it, Sarah. I really resent the sort
of stupid question people ask, thinking it is some sort of conversational technique,
and I think this reply is absolutely brilliant. I applaud his/her creativity. I think I
shall emulate it, and see what havoc I can create in this stodgy western town.
The neighbors already think I'm nuts, so why not have some fun

[dontpugme]

HAHAHAHAHA!!!

I recently read a book where Woolworths was a really bad place that served burgers that tasted like dirty socks.

[diane and bella]

OMG that is toooo funny!!! My kinda girl!

[leslie123]