I've been potty training for 3 months...HELP!

[maryhelen329]

I never once in this entire conversation told you how you should speak, Mattie. I haven't made any personal attacks on you. I didn't tell you that the way you speak is wrong.
The whole point of the last post was to make you understand that I am not attacking you. I keep telling you over and over that I am just telling you the way I interpreted it so that you can use that advice in the future if you so please.
In this entire forum I have not taken a offensive stance, yet you keep coming back defensively.
Just to clear things up, none of the things i have said were sarcastic. I am genuinely thankful for yours and everyone else's advice.

mum24dog was helpful in letting me understand that in the UK a lot of people are more straightforward. I did not know this. To me straightforwardness sounds harsh because of the overly sensitive nature of the people that I was raised around. Everyone here is always super polite and rudeness just isn't tolerated. And here straightforwardness is interpreted as rude a lot of the time. I would never tell someone that they're wrong just because they're different than me.
The whole reason for me talking about that in the last post was to help you understand where I'm coming from.
I'm still quite confused as to how anything I've said was taken to be a personal attack. Everything was said in good nature on my part.

[emmabeth]

*cup of tea all round*... slice of cake anyone?

Its very easy to read things that arent there - especially if you are worried you have done things wrong, or worried people think you are being cruel.. (and seriously, check a few threads if we think someone is being cruel, we just say so!).

As has been said- on so so many forums, people tiptoe about saying nice things and undoubtedly cursing under their breathe.

In the long run this means instead of a few posts giving out advice that is needed, clarifying details and fine tuning that advice - you get pages of waffle .. then someone gets annoyed and says what they really think, then the original poster takes offence because there are five pages of 'there there its ok'... so someone saying 'actually no its not' comes as a huge shock..

And no one gets anywhere.

One thing I have found that really commonly gets people feeling 'got at' is breaking down their posts into small quotes.

I do do it, and I know other posters, Mattie included, do it - because it makes it far easier for us to address each individual point.. otherwise when you are answering hundreds of posts a week, they can all merge into one and you can forget where you are at!

I especially can wander off mid way through a post to extract a puppy from something he shouldnt be eating, or answer the phone or do some paid work!! (shock horror ) so this 'style' really helps me when its a tricky or complex issue.

But seriously - its water under the bridge, stick around and read some of the old posts as well and you will pick up the advice you need.

How is your pup doing today?

[maryhelen329]

I'm actually not offended by anything that has been said. I've taken and used all of the advice given to me. And all of the advice has been great!
I actually love the quote thing, it's very helpful like you said. I have no idea how to work it, but I love it!

Stella is doing great! She had one accident when I had her in the bathroom while we had company for dinner, but that's been all. She loves bits of hamburger with melted cheese on top for her "potty treat."
I think the reason she had the accident was because she knew people she likes were downstairs. My cousin, Tim, just stands there, but for some reason if she hears his voice or sees him, she goes nuts! She gets so excited, jumping around and trying to play, that she pees. I took her out before I let her see him to try to prevent this. She still had a few drops that came out though. And then when I put her in the bathroom so we could have dinner, I came back to a puddle. I've seen in other forums that being calmer could prevent peeing from excitement. But the truth is that Tim is just as calm as can be! I'm not sure what else to try for this.

[emmabeth]

Age and life experience will sort that... its not at all uncommon for puppies, especially ***** pups to do this when meeting people.

If you can, as well as staying calm... try to do the greetings outside so that a few drops of pee dont matter.

She will grow out of it if given the chance to

Wow - hamburger with melted cheese on top!.... Ill pee outdoors for you for that!

You do seem to be on the right track.

One thing I pick up from your posts though is that she seems to spend a lot of time shut away..

I can see why this happens, and its no bad thing a pup learning to be ok wtih spending time alone (certainly better than pups forming an unhealthy reliance on their owners as happens very commonly).....

But... I worry she is missing out life experience here - the younger a pup is, the faster they learn - things they learn well at even 8 weeks old (even younger!) will 'stay learned'...

A great example of this is one of my dogs, Dill. I taught him to sit at 6 weeks - we did sit allll over the place, living room, hall, kitchen, garden, street.. everywhere I can think of, we did 'sit'.

Now one of the things Dilly is a little horror for... is stealing stuff. Hes more likely to take something if there is a challenge involved in getting it as well, so he would never beg at your plate or wait hoping for you to drop something... but shut something in a cupboard, or in a trash can... he wants!

Once or twice (in 8 years!) he has escaped from my house and run to the nearest trash can... and dived in. Recalling him doesnt work, i didnt teach him that until he was nearly 3 months old.. hes too busy thinking of what he can find in the bin anyway and whatever reward i have its not as good as what he might get out of the trash!

But... if i yell sit... he sits. From flat out run to parked on his rear (I am surprised he didnt take the skin off his butt!)... because this was the first thing he learned.. at six weeks old.. and it overrides everything else!

This isnt to say its the end of the world if you havent taught your dog to be Lassie by 8 weeks old, but the younger they are... the better they learn.

So your pup could now be learning about the world outside, about how to sit quietly when folk are eating, (and I eat in a room with FIVE dogs in it so one little dog is no big deal), about how to greet guests and walk by strange things, new people etc etc.

Her confidence would build up and she would grow up a lot faster.

Now I may have got it wrong and she gets out and about and sees loads of stuff, experiences new things daily... so apologies if i have. But I cant 'not' say something (it would be of no help to you if i said in six months time 'oh didnt you do xyz') in case saying something is useful!

[maryhelen329]

She is only alone if I'm not home or at night when she's sleeping. She doesn't really get to see the 'world' much, because we don't have dog parks or anything like that here. But I have started (since your recommendation) walking her around the neighborhood where she can see other dogs, people, cars, etc.
As for the hamburger, she loves it, and my other dog follows me around wherever I go if she knows I've got some.

Before I got Stella, I bought a book all about pomeranians. I read it cover to cover 3 times and have read certain paragraphs countless times. I wish I had come across this forum, though. The book has given me all the wrong advice on how I want to raise my girl. I didn't start teaching her obedience until a couple of weeks ago because my book told me that 5 months was a good age to start training. After she's already 5 months old I learn that it's better to teach them younger. So I definitely appreciate you saying that I should take her out in the world now while she's still young.

[emmabeth]

Eek - I had an awwwwwwwful feeling you might have book that said something like that...

Was pretty common once, and not that long ago, that puppies werent deemed able to learn anything much...before they were six months old or so.

The reason is - some of the methods (punishment, physically hitting a dog, harsh lead corrections to the neck) used most commonly back then didnt work on puppies....

Some of them would kill a pup.

Now of course we know so much better, but books... whilst I love books, they stick around... people who really ought NOT be writing books on how to do a thing, will copy info out about a breed, stick in some grooming tips and some training advice from the dark ages.. and call it 'the ultimate book of whatever' ....

And we believe what we read in books.

Theres one (WAS, past tense now) in my local library... advised shutting a dog in a cupboard if he or she made a mess. There are some around by a guy who advised choking your dog until it passes out!...

Anyway... rant over..

Pups are like sponges - they absorb eeeeeeeverything. Your job is to make sure shes absorbing all the right things. That everything she comes across is a good, rewarding experience (and you arrange things so she doesnt make a mistake and do the 'wrong' thing at all).

[Fundog]

Funny story about "absorbing everything," as Emmabeth just mentioned: Recently, I was having a little affectionate rough play with my son, embracing him and tickling him at the same time. Annie was just sitting on the floor, watching us with rapt fascination. When I let go of my son, Mr. Fundog indicated Annie, saying, "She was learning just then." And while I'm not sure just what it was she learned, I've no doubt we were being studied!

[maryhelen329]

That is adorable, fundog. I can just imagine the scene.
And emmabeth, that is exactly what happened. I got a book, read it for the good of my dog and it ended up backtracking the whole process.
The methods didn't seem awful to me bc that is the way that my family's dogs had been raised. But now that I'm looking back, those poor dogs were always either scared or aggressive. I want my little Stella to be the happiest that she can be.
I have been feeling for the past few months since I've had her that I was not following the instructions in the book carefully enough and that was the reason that Stella wasn't progressing. But the problem was that I was following the instructions. All of their training methods included force of some kind. Even the potty training encouraged a strong "NO" when they go inside.
I am so very thankful that I came across this forum! It has improved my bond with Stella as well as her obedience to me.
The potty training is going really well too! Now she goes outside, pees, then looks at me waiting for her treat.

[jjphoenix]

it is better to be able to be straightforward and say what needs to be said rather than what a person wants to hear, it doesnt mean that its not done with 'class'
i'm glad the potty training is going better now, definately keep up taking your pom out, only getting walks round the garden will mean some vital socialisation will be missing so its time to play catch up.
look at the year that the books you buy are written in, will help with which ones to follow etc