Really need support and advice!!!!!

[Beansel]

My Shadoe - a black lab x- hasbeen diagnosed with an osteosarcoma. To make a looong story short...her decline has been pretty fast. The specialist we were referred to was reccomending euthanasia three weeks ago. She is on gabapentin and codeine for pain and mitrazapine to stimulate her appetite. Without it , she will not eat.
Last Friday night we had the vet at our house .. I could not do it. I just couldn't. The next three days after that were the best we had in two weeks. She was more mobile than she had been and seemed in a good mood. If we had euthanized her, we would have missed those days. I keep praying-literally- that when she is ready she will go to sleep and not wake up. The vet really believes that will not happen...

Some hours or days are good...others are not. At her worst she is sooo clearly in pain and won't move a day...needs to be carried everywhere. The next day she is happy. I could write pages about what she has meant to me. I have been very ill and she never left my side for months as I recovered. We have been through so much together. Can someone give me some insight into finding the strength to do this? How can I take her good days away from her?

Beansel

[Sarah83]

It is never an easy decision. As someone once said to me though, putting them to sleep is simply taking their pain and making it our own. I'm so sorry you're going through this and I'm sure almost every one of us on here can relate to having to make this decision.

At the risk of sounding harsh, think of HER not of YOU. If she's suffering then is it fair to let her go on suffering when you can give her relief from that? Surely knowing you ended her pain and let her go with dignity is better than watching her suffer and hoping she goes in her sleep so you don't have to make the decision? YOU will miss the good days. YOU will be the one to suffer when she's gone. She will be at peace and free of pain and worry. These may sound harsh to you and I'm sorry if that's the case but these are the sort of things I found really helped when I had to make the decision to have my dog put to sleep because of health issues that couldn't be fixed.

[ladybug1802]

Oh I am so sorry to hear this....I can remember like it was yesterday making the decision to put my German Shepherd to sleep 3 years ago. It was awful and a very hard decision to call the vet (my horse vet came out to the house as it was out of hours and I know him really well) and ask him to come over and euthanise my dog. But as Sarah has said, you have you put THEIR suffering first ahead of what YOU want. I mean sure, I would have loved to have kept her alive and with me, but she had that day become worse and was unable to get up. I could not bear to see her suffering so that was decision made.

We could have waited until the morning, taken her to the vet ssurgery and had it done then, but that would have meant a whole night of her suffering, and I wouodnt have been able to live with myself. So my vet came to the house, and then my Dad dug a big hole in the garden earlier that day as he knew this was coming, and we buried her (they have a massive garden).

I love my animals more than anything, but Sara is spot on......this isnt about you, its about your dog. I am pro euthanasia in humans for many reasons (different topic!) and would like to have the option of being put to sleep if I was suffering....but we dont, But we owe it to our animals to not let them suffer for a moment longer than they have to. I mean sure, if you dont have her put to sleep she MAY have good m,oments.....but as you have pointed out, these are often only hours at a time, then she gets bad again. I think she is telling you she has had enough....pain is exhausting and I think you know what the right thing to do in this situation is. I totally sympathise with you....a month before my dog was put down I also had to make the decision to have my horse put down who was my pride and joy so that month was horrendous, but I cannot let animals suffer. And as Sarah said, it is US that suffer when they go, but I dont think that is a reason to keep them around when they have had enough.

My sympathies are with you.

[jacksdad]

My Shadoe - a black lab x- hasbeen diagnosed with an osteosarcoma. To make a looong story short...her decline has been pretty fast. The specialist we were referred to was reccomending euthanasia three weeks ago. She is on gabapentin and codeine for pain and mitrazapine to stimulate her appetite. Without it , she will not eat.
Last Friday night we had the vet at our house .. I could not do it. I just couldn't. The next three days after that were the best we had in two weeks. She was more mobile than she had been and seemed in a good mood. If we had euthanized her, we would have missed those days. I keep praying-literally- that when she is ready she will go to sleep and not wake up. The vet really believes that will not happen...

Some hours or days are good...others are not. At her worst she is sooo clearly in pain and won't move a day...needs to be carried everywhere. The next day she is happy. I could write pages about what she has meant to me. I have been very ill and she never left my side for months as I recovered. We have been through so much together. Can someone give me some insight into finding the strength to do this? How can I take her good days away from her?

Beansel

First, I want to assure you that no one here worth listening to is going to urge you to rush into a euthanasia decision. Most people here will urge you to give your dog every reasonable chance to make a recovery.

However, you have reached a point (see the bold above) where you really need to honestly evaluate the quality of life your dog is living. Honestly ask your self, how often are the good days, hours, moments happening verse the bad times.

My two cents. It is time to let go. You don't want your final memories to be of a declining dog, in pain, unable to eat, walk etc. Don't let those memories be the final ones and strongest. Actually making the decision to end it and follow through will be HARD, but when you look back it won't be nearly as bad as realizing you could have done it "sooner" saving your very much loved dog a lot of pain if you continue to let your dog linger. To me, that regret, the not ending the pain soon as it be came clear there was no hope of recovery and allowing a long prolonged, painful death would be harder to live with than any feeling of "taking a rare good day, hour, moment" from my dog.

I lost my bird earlier this year. the last hours of his life were very painful, things came on fast and he ended up dieing before we could figure out what was wrong. I to this day (knowing what I know now) wish I could have ended his pain sooner. I really bugs me. I have to remind my self we didn't know what was wrong in time to make the educated choice to end his pain.

Please, please, be strong for your dog. No one here doubts your love for your dog. No one here thinks this will be easy. You know the right choice, it's time to be strong and help your friend.

[Sarah83]

First, I want to assure you that no one here worth listening to is going to urge you to rush into a euthanasia decision. Most people here will urge you to give your dog every reasonable chance to make a recovery.

Oh god no, and I hope that wasn't what came across in my post!

[Beansel]

No, no ....not at all....thank you all. You are right. I am doing this for me...not her. Thank you so much.

[ladybug1802]

First, I want to assure you that no one here worth listening to is going to urge you to rush into a euthanasia decision. Most people here will urge you to give your dog every reasonable chance to make a recovery.

Oh god no, and I hope that wasn't what came across in my post!

Oh god me too....that was not my intention at all!

[jacksdad]

Sarah, ladybug.... I was NOT referencing your posts. just anticipating possible other posts of a non constructive manner that thankfully have not yet appeared, and to re assure that advice to euthanize is not given lightly or causally around here. trying to cut off possible problem posts at the pass so to speak. thankfully, none have shown up yet.

[jacksdad]

No, no ....not at all....thank you all. You are right. I am doing this for me...not her. Thank you so much.

Our thoughts are with you. please share some photos and a memory or two of happier times if you feel up to it.

[CoolDog]

Jacksdad wrote:

Our thoughts are with you. please share some photos and a memory or two of happier times if you feel up to it.

That is a good idea and it will let you express your feelings and share your memories you have had with your dog!

[wvvdiup1]

Yes, that is a great idea!

[Beansel]

I am "technologically challenged". Pictures will come as soon as I can figure it out!!!!

Beansel

[Sarah83]

And feel free to stick around here and talk about your dog if you want. People who don't own and love dogs can be EXTREMELY insensitive at times like this

[Beansel]

You have all been so kind... Heere is one story. Until she was about 8, she had a dalmatian "sister". Our Dal died verry suddenly during a grand mal seizure. Five minutes before she died, she had been playing in her backyard...It was heartbreakin but different from this.. This memory includes the two of them...

We had a wooden plank fence surrounding our backyard. I happened to look out to check on them. Good thing I did!!!! The Dal - Aquiel - was holding a loose plank to the side with her nose while Shadoe was furiously digging underneath the fence.

I called to them in a scolding sort of voiced. They both looked at me with a very guilty but mischeivious looks on their faces...."We weren't doing anything...really we weren't".

Partners in crime!!!!

[ladybug1802]

Ah what a lovely story! It bought a smile to my face imagining it!! These are definitely the sort of things to keep at the forefront of your mind at the moment!