Afraid of Dad

Share your favorite training tips, ideas and methods with other Positively members!

Moderators: emmabeth, BoardHost

Post Reply
markath
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Nov 21, 2010 10:59 am

Afraid of Dad

Post by markath »

I have a three year old wolfhound mix. She is usually overly excited to see people and dogs. She loves to play with everyone. (Teaching her not to jump is for another day) She has an obsessive fear of my father-in-law. When he walks into the house, Abbey runs into our bedroom and lays on the bed. If she walks into a room and sees Dad, Abbey will walk the outside perimeter of the room and leave; but she will continue to walk through at the furthest distance. She will pace the house keeping her eye on him from a distance. Dad has never hurt Abbey or scared her, so we have to assume the fear association is coming from her previous home. (we adopted Abbey at 9 months old from a shelter).
Abbey also becomes obsessed with ceiling fans when he is in the house. She stares at the fan in any room she enters.

This obsessed fear must stop. She is so stressed and obviously we're not getting rid of Abbey or Dad. When he comes for the weekend, she doesn't sleep or relax. She has gotten close to him and then she runs, we have tried forcing Abbey to sit while Dad pets her. We have tried Dad giving her treats. We have tried Dad talking sweet to her as she walks by. We need help -- I'm ready to try doggie valium to get her to relax. Please help....

Thanks.
User avatar
***Melissa***
Posts: 1026
Joined: Mon Jan 11, 2010 5:30 am
Location: Mafikeng, South Africa

Re: Afraid of Dad

Post by ***Melissa*** »

Re jumping - ignore her when she jumps. No eye contact, don't even say "no". Or leave the room immediatly for 10 seconds (it works the same as a time out, but it's easier to remove yourself from the room). She will try harder & harder (expect more jumping) and then she will see jumping = leaving her alone for a few seconds, and she will stop.

It may very well be that dad's look, smell or whatever reminds her from someone bad from her past.
Ask dad not to look at Abbey, make no eye contact with her, don't speak to her (not even in a nice voice), don't touch her, don't even recognise the fact that Abbey is there. He must completely ignore her, as if she wasn't there. Also, ask him not to make any sudden movements or loud noises when he visits - that may scare her even more.

When dad visits - give Abbey her "safe place", like a crate in another room she has access to (if she's crate trained). You don't have to close the crate, leave it open, and she can go in & out of the crate as she pleases. If she's not crate trained, her bed or pillow or blanket (that has her smell on it) will do - as long as it's away from everything and anyone, and she has access to and from it anytime. It's important that she knows that is her safe place, so no-one should be allowed to bother her when she's there. You can also give her things like kongs or raw meaty bones in her safe place to occupy her with.

Rescue Remedy in her water while dad is there will help her relax.

Abbey will then, in her own time, learn that dad is not a threat, and later she may ask dad to scratch her chest - but IF/WHEN she does that is up to her, and just let dad ignore her in the meantime. Please note that this may take weeks, even months for her to improve (it depends on what she went through when she was a pup, and what the association with dad is). She may get better, and relax around dad, but she also may never want him to touch her for example. How ever it goes - let her set the pace, and just let dad ignore her.

Please ask if you have any more questions :D

I have no idea about the ceiling fans :?
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. ~Ben Williams
markath
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Nov 21, 2010 10:59 am

Re: Afraid of Dad

Post by markath »

Thanks for the advice. Obviously I posted this in the wrong place, so I appreciate you finding me.

You said rescue remedy in her water. Is that some kind of drug or homeopathic remedy? Thanks.
User avatar
***Melissa***
Posts: 1026
Joined: Mon Jan 11, 2010 5:30 am
Location: Mafikeng, South Africa

Re: Afraid of Dad

Post by ***Melissa*** »

English is not my fisrt language, so I'm not sure whether it's homeopthic? :?

But it's not a drug, it's 100% natural, and it contains some of the bach flower remedies. It's suitable for humans and dogs.

Keep us updated on how it goes with Abbey and dad :D
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. ~Ben Williams
dontpugme
Posts: 1294
Joined: Thu Oct 29, 2009 8:01 pm
Location: Houston, Texas

Re: Afraid of Dad

Post by dontpugme »

http://feelbach.com/qti.asp?QTID3=PetEN
You can take this test to see which flower will benefit your dog the most.


http://www.bachflower.com/Pets.htm
This site has a good chart on the different remedies.
--dontpugme
Post Reply