A couple of problems with one of our dogs

[FairyFire213]

I have two problems with my little dog. First let me say that I have two dogs and two cats. We are a family of five, with kids ages being nine, eleven and tweleve.

The two dogs are an aussie mix and a sheltie (the sheltie being the little dog). She seems to be terrified of my husband. When he is in the house she is in whatever room he is not, but when he is not home, she will play and get in my lap or up in the kids lap. If he takes her for a walk outside, she will come to him, but flat on her belly. She isn't agressive towards him or anyone else. If people come to visit, she approaches them the same way flat on her belly, until they reach for her and then she runs away from them before they can touch her. We have not done much obedience with her, other than she knows the in your house/box (which is her crate) and she can now walk on a leash. When we first got her I could barley get her to walk on a leash when we got her and now she does it like a champ. We got her from a breeder at about nine months old and have had her just over a year. The breeder said she was timid and kind of tied to her sister and that when we seperated them she should come out of her shell some, she seemed under socialized and we thought she was still young enough to be okay. We picked her over her sister because she fell asleep in my husbands lap. Go figure she won't go near him now. He does tend to be quick to grab at the cats and the other dog, could she be seeing this and it is scaring her? She will look at him and watch him, but as soon as he says something to her she runs to another room. One day he was sitting quitely and she got in my lap, as soon as he said something she jumped down and went to the other room. She looks like she wants to trust him, but just isn't sure. We have tried to have him give her treats, but she won't take them, unless they are dropped on the floor and he is no where in sight. But she won't take treats out of my hand either, unless it is lunch meat and even then it isn't consistant. I have told him to ignore her, but is says that won't work. He wants to get rid of her, because she won't play or come to him. I won't let him, she is such a different dog when he is not home. Help what can I do and how long can it take?

The second thing is that her and one of the cats seem to be at war. The other cat could care less when she is around and doesn't run from her, almost plays with her, but the older cat runs and hisses, has even attacked her, and I mean you hear the yelp and know that he got her. To be fair she has gotten him too, hair and all. She however doesn't do this much unless the bigger dog is there to back her up. I know that I can't make them like eachother, but the barking and running around the house like a mad dog are annoying sometimes, especially first thing in the morning. How can I take her focus off the cat. I have tried "no", the "eet, eet" sound and it gets her attention, but only for a split second and then she is right back after the cat. if her and the cat are stairing eachother down and she is not running after him, barking and growling, I call her name a praise her. What else can I do, it isn't even both cats, just the one. Is it the cat?

I hope some of this makes sense, I just don't know what to do. I want there to be peace in the house.

[emmabeth]

It all makes sense, don't worry.

Firstly for your husband, yes it IS very frustrating and upsetting when a dog appears not to like you and you have done nothing wrong that you can see - but also, grow up, a dog is not a toy shes got her own issues and she is clearly frightened - ignoring her and giving her time and workin to build trust CAN be done but it WONT be done at HIS pace and on HIS terms, it will only be done on her terms and in her own time. If he insists on pushing things and getting stroppy about it, she WILL pick up on that, and yes, she will see how he behaves with the other animals and that could very well be colouring her judgement about not wantingto interact with him. If he won't change HIS behaviour, she cannot change hers - he is supposedly the 'superior' species here with the bigger brain!

Cats - can you install baby gates to prevent games of chase, and is the cat in question seeking the dog out to have a go, or is this him over reacting when the dog appears and attacking in a defensive, yet unecessary way?

Distract usin the noises you have been using but understand you MUST then redirect quickly, so 'eet eet' and then shovel treats down her, or a toy or scoop up the cat and put it out of the room, or invite her elsewhere with you to do something else. Just distracting with the noise will not work alone.

Tossing treats to her is good if that works, keep looking for a treat she likes best, if shes very nervous a treat she can lick rather than needs to chew may be better, try cheese spread or meat paste or peanut butter.

If/;when you do find something she really likes, consider clicker training (it wont matter what you train!) to help build up a healthier bond with her. Also working with her like this will tire her brain out more and will make cat-annoying a far less interesting pastime . As she gets more confident she may well tolerate your husband better. Check out the clicker training thread in the Articles section of the forum - i would suggest you work with her first, and get him interested in working with yhour other dog so he feels he is helping and notleft out. He will need to modify his behaviour though and I wont lie, this is probably goin to be your hardest job!

[FairyFire213]

Thanks for your advice. As for the cat, it is both. Sometimes she starts it and other times he starts it, I have seen him chase her into her crate and try to go in after her. He also sits right outside her crate when she is in it and stare at her. She is an undersized sheltie and weighs about ten pounds. Both cats outweigh her as they are part Mainecoon. I do have a feeling that if the one cat didn't run it woundn't matter to the dog. The reason I say that is the other cat doesn't run away, but either ignores her or plays with her.

I will keep trying to get through to my husband. May be he will believe the advice of someone else. The other animals don't seem to mind his antics and take it for what it is. His way of playing with them.

Do you think it is to late to train her to sit, stay, wait, etc.? She will be two in Feb. and do you recommend I take her to a class or try to do it on my own.

Our other dog nows all these and does really well with them.

Again, thanks!

[runlikethewind]

Why not suggest he comes on here. My dog seemed to not like me either - it wasn't his fault. All mine. It can be changed around easily and with time. Ask him to come on here for a bit . But warn him everyone is straight with people on here - no messing about - as it should be.

[Noobs]

It's never too late to train a dog to do anything!

Go to clickertraining.com and with a free registration you can have access to TONS of information! I printed hundreds of pages of articles when I first started training my dog. If your dog takes to clicker training - and not all do, but most probably will - then there's a whole world of possibilities.

[Noobs]

I also want to add that many times the biggest challenge in training your dog is getting the significant other and family members on board. So take heart, most of us know what you're going through with your spouse. Good luck!

[FairyFire213]

Thanks guys! He called me on his lunch break and I read to him what was written by emmabeth. And he wasn't fully buying it. I will keep working at it and maybe he will come around. He is not a computer person so getting him on here probably won't happen, but who knows. He has not come home from work yet and she is laying by my feet as I sit here typing this. I feel bad because as soon as he comes home she gets so nervous and won't really stay in one place till he goes to bed or falls asleep on the couch.

[Noobs]

Oh, sorry to hear he wasn't fully "buying" it. Well, you can always tell him to humor you and try it for a couple of months.

Just last night we had a friend of ours over. Murphy is really bad with guests entering our apartment. We've been desensitizing him and instructing everyone to ignore him. It helps when you give the person something to do - in my friend's case, we turned on a video game and had him play for a while. It only took Murphy a few minutes to walk over to him, sniff his feet, and then sit down next to him - that's his way of asking for petting! So my friend paused his game for a few seconds, said hello (without giving eye contact) and stroked Murphy's back, and went back to his game. Needless to say, Murphy went over to him quite a few times during the evening to sit down next to him and ask for strokes.

Since your dog starts at a place where he's afraid of your husband, it may take days or weeks to finally approach him. But if your husband IGNORES HIM COMPLETELY, no eye contact, no talking, give wide berth when walking around, your dog will come around at his own pace.

[emmabeth]

Keep up the good work - it IS tricky when you have a cat who is antagonising the dog, this is why I always say to people that you cannot guarantee any dog is 'cat safe', because no two cats are alike. Some will ignore and be fine, and others will wind up the same dog and risk getting themselves shredded!
I have five dogs here and i took two to spend a week at my dads. At my sisters house they were only vaguely aware there was a cat there! She was boring and slow moving and not remotely interesting and as a result, neither were they. At my dads house his two cats are scaredycats who hiss and spit and run and then lie in wait from a high vantage point to do the hissing and spitting thing again - both dogs would have, had they caught htem, killed those cats without even thinking about it!

With your husband, just ask him to humour you - what harm can it do to PROPERLY try your way for a while, after all, what hes been doing up to date has not worked, can it be any worse to try something new?

If hes the type to respond to it you could demonstrate to him how some kinds of body language even we dont like, such s people standing too close in our space, or leaning in towards our faces too much to talk to us, or holding eye contact logner than is normal- these upset us and we are badly out of tune with body language in comparison to dogs who use it as t heir main communication tool with other animals.

[Sue1234]

I adore shelties and have owned two wonderful ones over the years. Shelties are incredibly sensitive dogs. And I do mean to a very high degree. Even a cross-ways look can send many of them slinking from the room. (One of my shelites would head off to our bedroom when football games came on TV because my husband would be loud and boisterous during the games. He wasn't afraid of my husband, but he also didn't like the loud voice even though it wasn't directed at him.) Something happened to frighten your little sheltie where your husband is concerned (it might just be his voice, many sensitive dogs are frightened by male voices which tend to be louder as well as deeper) or it might be his body language that the dog is reading as intimidating, and it might be so subtle you can't read it, but your sheltie certainly can. This doesn't mean your husband is necessarily doing anything wrong, it's just the way he's coming across to the dog. You didn't say this in your post, but I think it would be easy for your hubby to think the aussie is fine with him and his demeanor, so why not the sheltie? But they are two different breeds and two very different personality types. It might help to talk with him about this so he realizes the differences.

Now that your sheltie has a question mark in his mind about your husband, even just being in the room with him or having him speak quietly will worry him. Since shelties are also incredibly loyal family dogs, I think this can be turned around if your husband is willing to put his heart and his time into it. Ignoring the dog for awhile might help, but then the work begins. Your hubby will have to make an enormous effort to speak very quietly when the sheltie is around, move and react quiety and slowly in general as well. It will take time for the dog to relax, so don't put a time table on it. Just let it happen at the dogs pace. It will also help if you stroke the dog and talk quiety to him while your husband is in the room. It will give him comfort and help him to relax. Eventually have your hubby gently toss down some high value treats without eye contact or saying anything. He will start to see your hubby being quiety in the room as a good thing. Hopfully with time, patience and a lot of effort on your husbands part, your little sheltie will turn around and not see him as threatening. But understanding the incredibly sensitive nature of the sheltie will go a long way towards working through this.

Good luck!

[FairyFire213]

I wanted to give a little up date on my sheltie, not that things are perfect. We have only been working on this for a little bit, but i think we have made progress. She isn't so scared to be in the same room as him. My husband and I were sitting at the kitchen table talking, not that far from eachother. I know that she could hear him talking to me and she came in the kitchen and started playing with me. She still wouldn't go near him but she came into the same room as he was and was calm enough to play (well her fashion of play anyway, which is really nothing more than me tagging her, while she is jumping up and spinning around). And when I say tagging, it is a quick pat or rub. Then he stood up to go the the restroom and she ran. He is trying to be patient, but it seems to be hard for him. He has been doing good with ignoring her and he says he sees and difference, but he wishes it would go faster. She also took a piece of chicken out of his hand, however she was hiding in her crate at the time, so I don't know if that really counts.

Thanks again everyone for your advice.

[runlikethewind]

That's good news but the dog will take things at her speed as you know - not at the speed your husband wants to go. He is not dealing with a human being who can rationalise. He needs to drop treats here and there near her, rather than asking her to take one from him just yet.