Help! He's scared of me now!

[Sarah83]

Normally I deal with Ruperts random and constantly changing fear issues easily enough but I'm a little stuck on this one. After almost 6 years of living with me he's now decided I'm scary. He was a little off with me a few weeks ago after I had a seizure but that seemed to pass. He was fine with me last night, curled up with me and my hubby while we watched a dvd. This morning I got up and went through the usual routine, got dressed, came downstairs with him, clipped the long line to his collar and let him out. I'm not the most alert person in the morning so I didn't notice him acting weirdly but once he'd peed he just went into a complete melt down. Lay in the middle of the garden, eyes closed, head turned away from me shaking like a leaf. I had to get my husband to come and get him in because he just would not move for me, not for chicken, not for carrots, not for his tug toy. He's been avoiding me all day which is completely unlike Rupert, he's normally practically on top of me. He's taking food from me but very reluctantly and is flinching away if I move anywhere near him.

Not sure what to do here. Usually when he's frightened of something I mostly ignore him, let him come to me and lean against me but don't make a fuss about it, but that doesn't really seem to be working in this situation. It doesn't help I don't know exactly what it is that's scaring him, just that it's something to do with me. I'm used to him suddenly deciding that a familiar thing is a monster out to get him but this is the first time he's decided I'm the monster!

[Labsrule]

Hello, sorry poor Rupert is in such a state, do you think he is suffering an epileptic fit? The behaviour you describe in the garden sounds a bit like a dog having a petite mal (small fit), do you think this is a possibility? I have no other suggest to make I'm afraid, hopefully someone else may have some ideas to help you. If he has always suffered from irrational fears I would be inclined to comfort and reassure him rather than ignore him to see if that makes a difference. Hope things improve for you, maybe speak to your vet about it to see what they think. Good luck, Sue.

[Horace's Mum]

If you are sure it is you he is worried about, then I would suggest carrying on as normal as much as possible, try and be yourself and most of all try not to let him see any worries or upset that you are feeling because he is scared of you. Slightly different situation i know, but when Horus had a bad day and shouted at me, he would recover in himself quite quickly, but it took me a lot longer to trust being around him again, and as a consequence I would act slightly differently, even when i tried really hard not to. With these sensitive little fellows I think they pick up on very very tiny changes in us, so maybe he was scared by your seizure because he didn't understand it, then you saw he is scared and have (possibly unwittingly)been acting slightly differently in order to "prove" that you are ok, and that is throwing him off a bit. Does that make any sense?

Any situations you can't deal with, as in getting him in from the garden, just walk away and ask someone else to deal with it so that you don't build up more issues.

[Sarah83]

I don't think it is a seizure, I have epilepsy but there's been no sign of him having it. The whole meltdown thing used to happen several times a day when I first got him, anything that scared him (and back then literally everything scared him) he'd just lie down, shut his eyes and quake. As his confidence grew it happened less and less. He seems to be fully aware of what's going on when he's like this and as soon as the scary thing has gone he'll come out of it and start to get back to what passes as normal for him pretty quickly.

He's suffered from random fears since I got him almost 6 years ago. At first it was anything and everything that scared him, now there are very few things that scare him all the time but it's as though suddenly one familiar thing will become really scary to him for a day or so then go back to being safe while something else will take its place. I don't completely and utterly ignore him when he's afraid. He tends to lean against me and I'll put a hand on his shoulder but not make the big sort of fuss you see so many make at places like the vet when their dog is worried. Anything more than that seems to make him even worse.

We are actually planning on speaking to the vet again now we have a different vet but the vets we've had so far seem to think I'm over exaggerating just how bad he is. I've had a behaviourist out to him who wasn't a lot of help with the fear problems and I've had 2 "trainers" tell me to give up, put him to sleep and get a normal dog. Given that the majority of the time he's a happy clown who wants to investigate everything that seems a bit harsh Most of the time his reaction isn't actually this severe, he's usually obviously worried but not to the point he shuts down and can't/won't move.

With these sensitive little fellows I think they pick up on very very tiny changes in us, so maybe he was scared by your seizure because he didn't understand it, then you saw he is scared and have (possibly unwittingly)been acting slightly differently in order to "prove" that you are ok, and that is throwing him off a bit. Does that make any sense?

It does make sense. I've not purposely acted any differently but maybe I have without realising it. The seizure I had definitely upset him and it's possible he's still worried from that, he's been a little iffy with me getting up off the sofa since it happened (I woke from it on the sofa with my laptop half way across the room so I think I was sitting here when it happened) but not like this today.

[Pawzk9]

I'm wondering if your body chemistry is "off" since the seizure. I might be tempted to douse myself in lavender or peppermint, and maybe put some (or DAP) on his collar or a bandana so you are drowning out other scents. Just a theory, might be worth a try

[jacksdad]

Sarah, sorry you and Rupert hit a snag. Wish I had more to offer.