Dogs in the bedroom/on the bed

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Inprogress
Posts:3
Joined:Sun Nov 08, 2009 5:27 am
Location:South Africa
Dogs in the bedroom/on the bed

Post by Inprogress » Sun Nov 08, 2009 5:47 am

So it seems the right way to handle dogs in or on the bed is as varied as the info I find on the net. "personal choice", "in the room but never the bed", "crate next to bed", "never ever the bedroom ever", "morning cuddle".

I would like to know what the method is regarding this? My view on it is a dog-to-dog and owner preference mix.

Personally I don't want dogs in the bedroom ever during the night. During the day, if they go in and take a sniff, its ok. What I have found with this (with three Basset Hounds) is that the dogs know exactly where they stand as to who gives the orders and where they may and may not be when we are around. Its practical. I found they tend to stay out of your way underfoot (gets annoying falling over dogs in the kitchen or dogs following you around constantly and get what they want when they want it).

But it still begs the question, what is the right way? Take my ex-girlfriend dogs for instance, a Wolf and a Jack Russel. They sleep in the bedroom always as well as on the bed. What is the behavior of the dogs? The Jack Russel will listen to a command for about 3 minutes. The Wolf the same. The Wolf will bark in a high pitched ear piercing tone even when scolded when she wants food, a treat, to play, or when me and my girlfriend use to embrace. All in all, I see the dogs as completely untrained, and "the alpha dogs" since they also follow her around constantly.

I have read that putting the dogs in those positions also causes anxiety (my ex noted how sensitive the dogs are to new places as she moved house a couple of times). The reason the dogs get anxious is because, especially when in a new place, she leaves for work and the dogs now have no idea of how to protect her. These dogs never play on their own or sleep on their own (they will sleep in a room cause she is there, they will play outside cause she is there).

Now, lets be honest, I felt her dogs were more important than me. She kept saying its like her children (yet when it comes to children she was firm that a child should sleep in their own bed after a certain age). So YES I confess, this is a bit of a rant and a "I told you I was right" post, but, could you please explain what is whole story about not allowing dogs in the main bedrooms?

I have watched your shows quite often and learned a great deal, and for that I thank you Victoria.

Frants from South Africa

P.S. I wont go and tell my girlfriend "I told you so", I really want more clarity on the subject as to know how to better handle and explain the whole concept.
Life's to short to be an adult

Leigha
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Post by Leigha » Sun Nov 08, 2009 7:22 am

There is no "no dogs in the main bedroom rule." It's completely owner preference. And it has nothing to do with how well or poorly your dogs behave or in what light they regard you. You'll find that several of the members who offer the best advice allow multiple dogs to sleep in their beds. Others allow them in the room. Personally, my dogs sleep in the room with us--two on their own bed, the puppy in his crate. The only reason my dogs don't actually sleep in the bed is because my fiance doesn't want to have dogs in the bed. If he didn't care you'd better believe my dogs would be in the bed with us. When it comes to following obedience commands I have no problems with them. My puppy was the smartest and easiest to train in his puppy class (which has nothing to do with the fact that I'm his mom--yes I just called myself my puppy's mom) but with the fact that I worked with him every day at home and still do.

Inprogress
Posts:3
Joined:Sun Nov 08, 2009 5:27 am
Location:South Africa

Post by Inprogress » Sun Nov 08, 2009 8:16 am

Thanks for the reply Leigha. That is what I thought regarding the matter. Its not so much a rule, rather a case of see what is required from the specific dog.

Why would the dogs follow her around constantly? And what does this behavior point to, as well as how would you, if you can, stop the behavior....if you wanted to stop the behavior of constantly being and taking over conversation and human-human interaction?

All the best.
Life's to short to be an adult

emmabeth
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Post by emmabeth » Sun Nov 08, 2009 8:38 am

My dogs choose where they sleep.

Usually two or three are on our bed, always my terrier x and always my Deerhound..... and then the Tibetan terrier gets up and down in the night and sometimes the little lurcher comes up.

My saluki x ***** always sleeps downstairs, of her own choice.

They do have to get off the bed when I ask, because i cant make the bed or tidy it up with them in it, and they wait until im comfy in my bed before they get back on.

They all behave pretty nicely and though this time of year its a bit fraught (two are badly scared of fireworks and where I live its like the neighbours are trying to recreate a warzone tbh, fireworks going off until 3/4am) and so i DO get followed to the loo (though they wait outside nicely) they arent normally clingy.

Following/shadowing/being a velcro dog is usually a sign of insecurity - but watch the behaviour of the owner because if they are making it worthwhile for a dog to follow them, by fussing, rewarding it etc.... or worse, sometimes fussing and rewarding... but sometimes losing their rag and shouting... which creates an anxious dog who isnt sure what to do but doesnt want to miss out on a treat, then they will get followed all over the place.

When it ISNT firework season here I can move from room to room and not be shadowed, unless I go to the kitchen in which case invariably someone will get up to see if im going in the fridge or to the back door and because there are five of them, if one goes... then thats competition and so more will come too.... But once they realise im doing nothing of interest to them, they all slope back off to their comfy spots and get back to snoozing!

Sooo that was a long way round of saying sleeping on, in, by, under or wherever... the bed, is not going to automatically cause a dog to misbehave, be a pain in the bum or anything else.

To stop following - first identify if its based in anxiety/insecurity (cant miss out on something... cant cope without owner present) or if its based in having learned that good stuff happens if you juuuust follow the person constantly..

Then stop it being fun to do - so ignore it completely. No telling off, no absent minded ear fondling, or 'whoops have that bit of ham that fell off my sandwich', no doing ANYTHING for the dog without having specifically said 'hey dog... lets...' first.

Then set up practice scenarios where you specifically bore the pants off the dog, going back and forth from one room to another, never stopping long enough to let the dog settle,never being rewarding. Boring. (Ten trips from living room to kitchen to make 1 cup of tea for example).

Then.. give the dog a really GOOD reason to stay in another room - a bone so big the dog cannot bring it with them can work well.

If the dog is a very anxious clingy sort then more work will need to be done on building up their confidence. Clicker training can help immensely here in creating a strong but healthy bond (rather than an unhealthy dependancy) with the owner.

Leigha
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Joined:Sun Aug 09, 2009 8:02 am

Post by Leigha » Sun Nov 08, 2009 8:42 am

Emmabeth you're awesome!! I remembered you giving specific directions to someone a month or so ago about how to get their dog to not follow and while I was searching for it you posted.

Inprogress
Posts:3
Joined:Sun Nov 08, 2009 5:27 am
Location:South Africa

Three cheers!!!

Post by Inprogress » Sun Nov 08, 2009 8:56 am

Thanks emmabeth. That was most informative. Everyday I try to learn something, today I learned a lot of somethings. Thanks.
Life's to short to be an adult

Fundog
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Post by Fundog » Sun Nov 08, 2009 11:34 am

Okay, since we're on the subject...

My dogs are often welcome to sleep with us if they want to. Sometimes they do, and sometimes they don't. Sometimes they might join us for only a few hours, and then get up and leave the room to sleep elsewhere. I am not the most fun person to sleep with; I kick and thrash about a lot, so they don't generally stay with me long.

Mr. Fundog and I actually have two beds, pushed together, and I work nights and sleep days. So at nights the dogs actually sleep on my bed with Mr. Fundog in his, and in the daytime they might only nap with me until they want to be let out, since I have to sleep with the door closed, it being the daytime and all. Sometimes one of the dogs will be snoring too loud and bother Mr. Fundog, so then he will ask her to leave so he can close the door. And that is never a problem either.

Now, I must confess I'm not always very diligent about making up my bed... the other night when I got up, it was quite a mess from all my kicking and thrashing. I had intended to make it, but when I got to it, I discovered Mr. Fundog had already made it for me, all nice and neat. I commented on it, and he said, "The dogs sleep better when your bed is made." :shock: He made my bed for the dogs, not for me! :lol:

Leigha
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Joined:Sun Aug 09, 2009 8:02 am

Post by Leigha » Sun Nov 08, 2009 12:32 pm

I think that is absolutely adorable!

mselisabs
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Post by mselisabs » Thu Nov 12, 2009 7:50 pm

Totally a personal choice. We decided to not let our Brit on our bed, but we let her on the guest bed (we don't have a lot of guests living near family, and in an apartment to boot... will most likely change that when we buy our house... but that's another story.) She is allowed on the couch, however. My husband wasn't too keen on it at first but it's actually been a great bonding experience. We sit together calmly and she even stays on the couch when the cat jumps up (our dog is scared of the cat.....) And since she's shy of new people I'm not concerned with her jumping on the couch all over our guests.

So, personal choice. BUT, in every episode I've seen if the parents are having any trouble with their dogs Victoria advises them to no longer let the pup(s) on the bed.

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