Noticing a pattern..

forkin14 · Post by **forkin14** » Sun Oct 18, 2009 3:09 pm

I've noticed that whenever my boyfriend is in our apartment, Cadence is pretty active and this is when she does her "bad" behavior. When he is gone, Cadence is calm and will lay down, cuddle, play nicely, etc. And it's not like it's a "depressed" calm either, just a normal calmness.
Any thoughts on this??

Also, I got to thinking about the past year we've had her.. It dawned on me that he never really did any teaching with her whatsoever. Everything she learned was due to me. All he ever did was play with Cadence. Well I guess now it's coming back to bite me in the butt that I never said anything before..
As I've been getting tips for curbing her lunging and crazy outbursts, I've been relaying it back to him. STRONGLY emphasizing consistency. Well I guess he is either too lazy or just does not care since we just had a big argument about it. I guess he expects me to do all the work and Cadence to just figure it out on her own. We both wanted a dog very badly, but I guess he just wanted the fun and none of the responsibility.
Has anybody had an experience where their partner just will not cooperate? I've seen it on "It's Me or the Dog" and Victoria will get the non-cooperative individual to start helping out, but unfortunately I can't get Victoria to come help! lol.

forkin14 · Post by **forkin14** » Sun Oct 18, 2009 4:47 pm

ugh and let me add.. her biting is getting a lot worse.

she is actually applying pressure now and it gets to the point where it hurts.
I've tried the "yelping noise" over and over but that just gets Cadence more riled up. Removing myself from the room just makes her come follow me, jump on me (she can officially reach my neck, leaving really bad scratches), then run back into the room and attack the new bed I bought her.

I'm hoping this is a phase because if she continues it, it will only get worse and someone will get hurt.

My luck that my first dog is a crazy one..

Leigha · Post by **Leigha** » Sun Oct 18, 2009 5:06 pm

Have you tried time-outs? Bruiser's a biter and the yelping noise just riles him up. But if I time him out it works pretty well. It usually takes a few rounds of it, but he'll settle down eventually.

forkin14 · Post by **forkin14** » Sun Oct 18, 2009 5:38 pm

where do you designate as the "time out" area? We live in a studio style apartment and the only room that is sectioned off is the bathroom. I've always heard to never use the crate as a time-out area, so we've avoided that.

Leigha · Post by **Leigha** » Sun Oct 18, 2009 6:03 pm

My downstairs bathroom is my time-out room. Our downstairs is really open, and the only doors are for the garage, coat closet, and bathroom. I feel better about myself timing my "child" out in a bathroom versus a closet... I've learned to keep the trash can in the sink or on the back of the toilet to keep Bru out of it, and I have to put the toilet paper on the back of the toilet because he likes to eat it.

What generally happens when I time Bruiser out is I walk him to the bathroom without talking to him or jerking at him (which can be hard when you're upset), close the door, stand next to the door and count to 10 in my head. Depending on what he's done and how P'd I am I might count to 15. When I hit 10 I open the door and walk away. I don't talk to him or anything. If he does whatever it is again, I walk him back to time-out and do the whole thing all over again. There have been nights that he's been in time-out 5 or so times in a row, but he always figures it out and will knock it off eventually.

Fundog · Post by **Fundog** » Sun Oct 18, 2009 10:58 pm

Welcome to co-habitation, lol. This pattern doesn't just happen with dogs-- it often happens in families with human children too. These types of men are known as "Disneyland Daddies." They're just there for the rough housing, but leave it up to "mean old mom" to lay down the law.

Not to be sexually biased, though. It happens on the other side of the coin as well: We have dads who rule the roost with an iron fist, while Mom is an absolute push-over. Finding a happy medium and bringing Mom and Dad together as a team is hard work, and often takes several years to work out. Keep trying; you'll get through to him pretty soon. If you have to, print out some threads you think really say what needs to be said, and leave them out for him to read-- don't force him; try to be subtle and cunning. Later, instead of taking a confrontational approach, simply ask what his thoughts are on the subject. This will open up dialogue and problem solving opportunities much better.

MaiasMom · Post by **MaiasMom** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 12:09 pm

And then you have the person who had a dog for a month once when he was a kid and thinks he knows everything. He even went through obedience class with Maia and still thinks he knows everthing. It looks to me like this person likes the idea of a dog but not willing to do the work it takes. Hmm is there an obedience class for these people?