Anxious or lack of confidence? Help please..

cbabygurl · Post by **cbabygurl** » Sun Dec 14, 2008 4:20 pm

To start, I help out at an animal society, taking different dogs out to play in the park. I fell in love with one that just plays all day long with the dog that I've had for a year.
I decided to foster him and see if he would fit in the family.
He's perfectly behaved except for one thing.
While everyone is calmed down and resting, he will stand over my other dog.
He'll also pace around the room looking at me nervously. So I'll let him outside to go to the restroom but he does the same thing afterwards.
When I go to sit on the floor he'll come to me but will not lay next to me. He always has to be sitting or laying on top of me.

Nothing has changed in his behavior, when we go outside or anything. It's just this one thing that has not calmed down.

I'm curious if he is just getting used to being in a home or if he is truly nervous in my home.

Any thoughts or ideas on this are welcome. I just want him to be comfortable and not stressed.

*sorry this is so long, I just don't want to forget anything.

ckranz · Post by **ckranz** » Sun Dec 14, 2008 7:25 pm

The more details the better when descriibing dog behavior issue.

It does sound as if your foster is a bit on edge while inside the home. This could be for a variety of reasons.

1. Strange noises or smells that he is not acustom too.
2. Your home is a new environment and it will take some time to adjust. It could take up to several months for a dog to adjust to a new home.

Is he able to eat inside the house?

If so work on playing training type games inside. Give him space and time.

cbabygurl · Post by **cbabygurl** » Mon Dec 15, 2008 9:47 pm

His history is that he was found and the woman who found him took him to the vet had him neutered and all medical issues taken care of. She wasn't able to find him a home so she gave him to the shelter.
He was there in a crate for 1 yr. We've now had him for a little over a month.

It took him about a week to be able to eat inside the house.

Also, regardless if he's getting attention as well, if he sees another dog getting attention he will come over and budge in. Typical jealousy, I'm guessing.

Oh and also the two together will play like crazy inside the house. the behavior usually happens when everyone is calm, or I'm busy doing something(not able to give him attention) and my other dog is laying down.

cbabygurl · Post by **cbabygurl** » Mon Dec 15, 2008 9:50 pm

He also jumps on me and my boyfriend when we hug or kiss. We've tried the turning around and ignoring technique that was on a show, and it doesn't work. He continues to jump.

Whitchick · Post by **Whitchick** » Wed Dec 17, 2008 2:30 am

I have a rescued Yorkshire terrier who does exactly the same as your dog.. my current dog, also Yorkie (Penny), been with us since birth and 6 months age difference in between the two, appears to be the dominant dog, but new yorkie (Mia), has been nicknamed Asbo for doing exactly what your dog does. She gets in the middle of me and my other dog, me and my husband, me and my kids..... and frequently sits on top of us. Only difference is, Mia never worried about eating, even when we first got her, she ate everything in sight ! She just seems to have taken over the place !

I'd be really interested to know the reasons behind it. It doesnt really cause us a problem, we just put it down to her personality, she's a bit like my youngest daughter in that she is a complete attention seeker !! But sooooo adorable...

A very lovely temperament, sweet and loving little dog, and incredibly obedient and easy to train despite her bad start, but lacks confidence due to the way she was treated previously.

Hopefully some of the "experts" like Emmabeth/Mattie/OuldBitch etc will have some advice !!

Fundog · Post by **Fundog** » Wed Dec 17, 2008 3:20 am

I could be off-base here, but I've read some other articles suggesting that this type of behavior is a show of dominance and ownership-- by sitting or lying on top of you, your dog is claiming you, saying he owns you. The same when he does it to other dogs. Don't let him do it to you. As for the other dogs, let them sort it out. If the other dog is content to be "owned," or at the bottom of the pack, fine. If not, the other dog will correct the dog who is out of line. But if you allow your dog to claim a dominant position over you in this way, eventually he will claim ownership of everything else: your furniture, your bed, your toys, your spouse, your kids...

Now, my dog exhibits another curious behavior, sort of similar, but different: If I invite her over to me for a cuddle, she will stuff her head into some sort of nook or cranny of my body-- between my back and the chair, under my armpit, into my ribcage. It's like she's trying to climb inside me. She's been this way since the first time I evaluated her at the shelter before deciding to adopt her. I've always thought perhaps it was a show of insecurity, wanting to be as close to me as possible, where she feels safe. But it's only a guess, I don't really know for sure. What do y'all think? Does anyone else's dog do this?

Noobs · Post by **Noobs** » Wed Dec 17, 2008 9:56 am

Fundog wrote:I could be off-base here, but I've read some other articles suggesting that this type of behavior is a show of dominance and ownership-- by sitting or lying on top of you, your dog is claiming you, saying he owns you. The same when he does it to other dogs. Don't let him do it to you. As for the other dogs, let them sort it out. If the other dog is content to be "owned," or at the bottom of the pack, fine. If not, the other dog will correct the dog who is out of line. But if you allow your dog to claim a dominant position over you in this way, eventually he will claim ownership of everything else: your furniture, your bed, your toys, your spouse, your kids...

Sounds like something out of the Cesar Millan textbook...

Sometimes I feel like a dog will do "whatever works", as they say. If a dog sits on you and you pet him and give him attention, he'll continue to do it. I think Victoria has on past UK shows had people stand up every time a dog tried to jump on them on the couch, or put a dog on the floor if he "misbehaves" on the couch. Maybe OP's dog sits on you because you never told him not to? It's possible that not all behaviors are about "being dominant".

cbabygurl · Post by **cbabygurl** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 2:30 pm

Whitchick wrote:I have a rescued Yorkshire terrier who does exactly the same as your dog.. my current dog, also Yorkie (Penny), been with us since birth and 6 months age difference in between the two, appears to be the dominant dog, but new yorkie (Mia), has been nicknamed Asbo for doing exactly what your dog does. She gets in the middle of me and my other dog, me and my husband, me and my kids..... and frequently sits on top of us. Only difference is, Mia never worried about eating, even when we first got her, she ate everything in sight ! She just seems to have taken over the place !

I'd be really interested to know the reasons behind it. It doesnt really cause us a problem, we just put it down to her personality, she's a bit like my youngest daughter in that she is a complete attention seeker !! But sooooo adorable... A very lovely temperament, sweet and loving little dog, and incredibly obedient and easy to train despite her bad start, but lacks confidence due to the way she was treated previously.

Hopefully some of the "experts" like Emmabeth/Mattie/OuldBitch etc will have some advice !!

It's' not a problem in our home either but I worry that he's not comfortable in our home, or he's not getting enough of "something".

cbabygurl · Post by **cbabygurl** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 2:32 pm

Fundog wrote:I could be off-base here, but I've read some other articles suggesting that this type of behavior is a show of dominance and ownership-- by sitting or lying on top of you, your dog is claiming you, saying he owns you. The same when he does it to other dogs. Don't let him do it to you. As for the other dogs, let them sort it out. If the other dog is content to be "owned," or at the bottom of the pack, fine. If not, the other dog will correct the dog who is out of line. But if you allow your dog to claim a dominant position over you in this way, eventually he will claim ownership of everything else: your furniture, your bed, your toys, your spouse, your kids...

Now, my dog exhibits another curious behavior, sort of similar, but different: If I invite her over to me for a cuddle, she will stuff her head into some sort of nook or cranny of my body-- between my back and the chair, under my armpit, into my ribcage. It's like she's trying to climb inside me. She's been this way since the first time I evaluated her at the shelter before deciding to adopt her. I've always thought perhaps it was a show of insecurity, wanting to be as close to me as possible, where she feels safe. But it's only a guess, I don't really know for sure. What do y'all think? Does anyone else's dog do this?

Whenever I call Titan (our foster) he won't come until it's on his terms. Then he is as sweet as ever. When he sits on me it's like he's trying to play a game. He'll look back at me and try licking me then get up, then come back again and do the same thing. I don't know it's very strange. It may just be part of his personality or something.

cbabygurl · Post by **cbabygurl** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 2:37 pm

On the whole dominance thing, when Titan sits on me he has a happy face. His body is never tense like he's trying to convey a point to me. He's just there..

I'm not sure it's dominance, and when Titan stands over Comet he's fine. It doesn't seem to be a tense situation, just a nervous one. Like he's not able to settle down.

Noobs · Post by **Noobs** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 5:12 pm

I'm sure many of the behaviorists here will tell you that you will need to work on recall with high-value treats and lots of praise. I wouldn't get too discouraged about that aspect just yet because a lot of things factor in like distractions and whatnot. You may be misinterpreting his being distracted as "only coming on his terms". It takes a lot of practice for recall to be 100% as anyone here can tell you, so just keep working at it. Best of luck!

Mattie · Post by **Mattie** » Sat Dec 20, 2008 4:10 am

cbabygurl wrote:His history is that he was found and the woman who found him took him to the vet had him neutered and all medical issues taken care of. She wasn't able to find him a home so she gave him to the shelter.
He was there in a crate for 1 yr. We've now had him for a little over a month.

He may never have lived in a house before this lady got him, he was then taken to the vet were horrible things happened to him then he spent his life in a crate. He is showing classical signs of stress, probably caused by all that has happened to him in the past. TTouch may help him and possibly some herbal calmers.

It took him about a week to be able to eat inside the house.

This is another sign of stress but as he is eating in the house now those stress levels may be reducing. It will take some time before he feels safe in your home though. Been through all this several times.

Also, regardless if he's getting attention as well, if he sees another dog getting attention he will come over and budge in. Typical jealousy, I'm guessing.

Again typical behaviour, how I deal with this is to carry on giving the attention to the first dog but just quietly stroke the dog that is feeling left out but not other interaction.

Try and put yourself in his position, he sees another dog getting attention, he hasn't had much in the past so would also like some. By gently stroking him while still giving the first dog attention, he learns that he isn't being kept out and there is no need to demand when others are getting attention. I find this works for my dogs.

Oh and also the two together will play like crazy inside the house. the behavior usually happens when everyone is calm, or I'm busy doing something(not able to give him attention) and my other dog is laying down.

He doesn't know how to relax, you are going to have to teach him to relax but sending him to his bed won't work, he will still be tense. TTouch and herbal calmers will help.

Mattie · Post by **Mattie** » Sat Dec 20, 2008 4:23 am

cbabygurl wrote:He also jumps on me and my boyfriend when we hug or kiss. We've tried the turning around and ignoring technique that was on a show, and it doesn't work. He continues to jump.

You have an insecure dog, you need to build up his confidence generally, clicker training is good for this and continue to ignoring him. It won't work quickly but it will work, just keep it up and be very very consistant.

Whitchick, your dog isn't dominate but insecure, you need to build up her confidence and given guide lines on how to behave. Set her up to succeed and only reward the behaviour you want, even looking at a dog that is misbehaving can be a reward to them.

I could be off-base here, but I've read some other articles suggesting that this type of behavior is a show of dominance and ownership-- by sitting or lying on top of you, your dog is claiming you, saying he owns you. The same when he does it to other dogs. Don't let him do it to you. As for the other dogs, let them sort it out. If the other dog is content to be "owned," or at the bottom of the pack, fine. If not, the other dog will correct the dog who is out of line. But if you allow your dog to claim a dominant position over you in this way, eventually he will claim ownership of everything else: your furniture, your bed, your toys, your spouse, your kids...

That is human behaviour given by a human but dogs are not humans and don't think like them. Dogs are not trying to take us over but do need guidlines and ground rules even if they do try to test them at times.

Never let dogs sort it out, watch and be ready to step in if things start to escalate, if you let them sort it out they could end up fighting and you have a large vet bill to pay. You decide what behaviour you will accept in your home not your dogs, but you do need to take into accound a dog's natural instincts when dealing with the problems. Set your dogs up to succeed and you will soon have peace and haromony in your home.

Now, my dog exhibits another curious behavior, sort of similar, but different: If I invite her over to me for a cuddle, she will stuff her head into some sort of nook or cranny of my body-- between my back and the chair, under my armpit, into my ribcage. It's like she's trying to climb inside me. She's been this way since the first time I evaluated her at the shelter before deciding to adopt her. I've always thought perhaps it was a show of insecurity, wanting to be as close to me as possible, where she feels safe. But it's only a guess, I don't really know for sure. What do y'all think? Does anyone else's dog do this?

The dogs that have done this to me were all insecure and this stopped once they became more confident.

Mattie · Post by **Mattie** » Sat Dec 20, 2008 4:29 am

cbabygurl wrote: Whenever I call Titan (our foster) he won't come until it's on his terms. Then he is as sweet as ever. When he sits on me it's like he's trying to play a game. He'll look back at me and try licking me then get up, then come back again and do the same thing. I don't know it's very strange. It may just be part of his personality or something.

He isn't coming on his terms, he is nervous of coming to you, this is probably something to do with his past etc. Build up his confident and work on his recall using very high rewards. If using treats, use roast chicken, hot dogs, cheese etc and only call him once or you will teach him that it is ok for mum to call several times before he responds. Don't call him unless you know he is going to come to you or you will be teaching him it is ok to ignore you. I would also go back to the beginning and teach recall to another command, it will be easier than trying to change his idea of the command you use now.

cbabygurl · Post by **cbabygurl** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 4:29 pm

Thank you all so much for the suggestions. He's getting a little better as time goes on.
I'll let you know if anything else happens.