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My cocker spaniel girl is 14 weeks and we collected her a fortnight ago. She has settled well into our home. She is also bright and now rarely has a toilet accident, and knows basic commands. After some nighttime crying (which we ignored to the most part, but made verbal corrections if she began howling by saying 'quiet' as we have neighbours with young children) she now sleeps quietly though the best part of the night in the kitchen. She has an open crate in there, and a baby gate preventing access to other parts of the house.
Our main problem is leaving her home alone. She will cry for 10 mins which escalates to howling for a further 10 mins and then settle. But if she wakes, she will go through the routine again...making it difficult for us to leave her for more than an hour. I need to leave her alone for 3-4 hours at a time as I work, but want to reduce her distress and the neighbours irritation. She is left in the kitchen area with the radio on. She has a kong ball (as she does for bed) and this will last about 10 mins even with frozen food. She has other toys but doesn't seem to show an interest in these when we are out. She does not play. She sits at the gate or goes to her bed. We have practiced separations when we are home. She doesn't like these either as she will whimper, but will give up eventually and go to sleep. It doesn't escalate to crying. We have done this daily for past week for an hour at a time. She does not chew things when alone but she does wet the floor occasionally. We minimise fuss leaving, and wait a couple of mins before giving attention on our return. We also exercise her for 20 mins before leaving.
Is there anything else's we should do? Will it just improve in time. We have only left her 3 times for any length of time, but it will become daily from tomorrow as I return to work. Any help would be appreciated
The reason you are struggling and this is taking time, is because you are forcing her to accept being left and to realise that crying won't work. I totally understand how that ends up happening but it really and truly is not the best way.
The BEST way is to create a confident puppy who actively chooses to be away from you, and is quite happy to be left - which probably sounds like you'd need a miracle to create but it IS possible.
It starts with confidence - so even though she's now sleeping in your kitchen I would actually move her - she can sleep in her crate in your bedroom, you can take her out the second she stirs at night BEFORE she makes any noise, so she is not practicing the 'make a noise and people will come' behaviour there any more (her toilet training will get along quicker too).
It is really important to note, this is not forever - this is whilst you create a confident puppy. It is infinitely easier to teach a confident puppy to stay on their own than it is an anxious one (as you are now seeing!), so moving her from your room to another room at night later on shouldn't be a big deal.
Practice sessions at leaving her - these need to be a minute or so SHORTER than the length of time she can currently handle without crying/ So if she starts after 5 minutes of being in a room on her own, you only leave her 3 minutes. Any time she cries, you've pushed it too far, so really try to avoid that (i realise you have to go to work now, this will slow the process down so if you CAN get a dog sitter in, do so, if not, the process will just take longer and you will need to be extremely nice to your neighbours for a while!).
Set up a new 'being alone' context for her - pop a new bed down on the floor (it can be a cheap flat 'mattress' style one, just so long as its new and different, could be an old towel if you like). Pop a nice BIG bone on there or a stuffed kong and just ignore her for a short while.
After a few minutes, call her to you and reward her and put the bed and kong away (if she has issues with her taking her bone/kong then call her out of the room and have someone else remove the bed and bone/kong do NOT confront her over them!).
Repeat this again several times a day - gradually add in steppign otu of the room, popping in and out of the room and ignoring her, stepping out of the front door, going up stairs - build the time gradually.
The idea here is that the new bed/mat and kong or bone mean 'time to chill out, the humans are not available' - when you return its pleasant but you also take away the super rewarding stuff, so its starting to set up in her mind the idea that actually, you being unavailable is cool, it has its benefits.
If leaving her alone for now IS completely unavoidable, its important you DON'T use the above set up to leave her for longer than she can handle, or you will undo the work you put in!
There is another method you can use, and you can use both (but make sure you don't confuse your pup!), this ones a bit more long winded to explain but the same principle is at work - you being gone is not a bad thing, CHOOSING to not be near you is a GOOD thing..
The first stage is to train yourselves a new rule - if you leave the room and invite the puppy to come with you, you can acknowledge her, reward her, talk to her etc. If you DON'T invite her to come with you, you pretend she doesn't exist. She can trail about after you, but it will be of little benefit to her.
The next element is some practice sessions, where for five minutes you will flit between two rooms. Allow her to follow but don't invite, so don't acknowledge her presence. Keep an eye on her and as she begins to settle down in each room, move on, so you might go from the living room to the kitchen, as she begins to sit down you go back to the living room and sit down, as she begins to relax you move back to the kitchen, and so on, for five minutes.
Really the idea here is to be really really BORING, and for following you about to be a chore, a boring chore that brings no reward at all.
Do this a few times a day.
After a few days you should find that shes starting to linger in doorways rather than follow you closely, because in her experience now, you are going to ignore her, you aren't going to be gone long, why make that effort for nothing. When you see that start to happen (and some dogs are quite dramatic about it, sighing as you get up and move and they have to get up and follow, flopping down in the middle of your route and just watching as you pass them).
Keep the routine up, but start extending SOME of the occasions wher eyou are out of the room (not all of them, you don't w ant her to predict you WILL definitely be gone for ages every time!).
The final step is a lot like the first protocol - now that she's aware that following you when you didn't invite her is boring, you add in motivation to stay where she is - so pop down that big juicy bone, or a kong clipped to her crate, and do your five minutes or by now maybe ten minutes flitting back and forth.
Its important you use something highly rewarding, and its important its NOT something she can easily carry about, hence the suggestion for a huge raw bone (bigger than her head!).
Now you should find that she might get up and look as you leave, but shes going to want to stay where she is to enjoy her bone, and so she will if you do this carefully, CHOOSE to stay when you leave.
From there you can build on that, having her choose to stay somewhere whilst you go out of the front door, choose to stay whilst you go upstairs, go out the door and start up the car etc etc.
Again, if you are having to leave her whilst working through this stuff, it is going ot take longer, because each time you do it theres a high chance shes becoming more anxious and there is a high chance shes accidentally being rewarded for making a noise (even if she makes a noise then hears a noise from outside, she is likely to think someone has responded which rewards the noise she made and thus increases the chances she will do it again!).
At the risk of giving you information overload, the other things you can add in to the above are: Make sure shes mentally as well as physically exercised - so lots of training games, puzzle solving, clicker training as well as socialisation walks/visits out and about.
Also teach her that going out WITH you is not necessarily an exciting experience - I strongly believe that one reason dogs struggle being left is that in their experience whenever we take them with us, we go somewhere AWESOME (the park, the fields, to visit people, the pub). If you build in some trips out in the car where you just go somewhere, sit in the car for a few minutes and come back again, its quite possible to reduce the frustration at being left behind!
Thank you. There are some very useful ideas in your reply that I have been working on for the past couple of days. I have already started trips in the car with Wilma which are less exciting.
Unfortunately my puppy is not overly motivated by food. I have tried lots of things in the kong ball and bones, but she seems uninterested in these. Even if training is before dinner so she is hungry. She enjoys training treats and works for these (follow basic commands) but will not both if they are put in a kong and she has to push around. She will give up after a few seconds...even if successful and treats come out.
Any ideas for what rewarding item can be used for a food fussy pup?
Wilma has made great progress through gradual desensitisation to separation and building confidence
We gradually increased time and can leave her for 3 and half hours with very little whimper (lasting couple of minutes). Obviously, she is still not happy with being left alone, but is able to eat and play when we are out, so appears less anxious.
Our video footage does show that she will howl for one minute after we have been out for about 2 hours. This is often on waking or after resting for a period.
She will then return to her crate and rest/sleep again. At this point her tail is between her legs.
This is obviously huge progress.,..just wondering whether people think this will continue to improve in time or whether there is anything else I can do to make it easier for her?
Just read this today as I have a 10wk old Havanese puppy who's having trouble being left for any length of time, she howls if I disappear upstairs for a couple of mins.
Just wanted to say I found emmabeth's post really interesting and hoping to apply these techniques to help Katie.
Also curious to hear how Wilma's progressing, and how you coped with having to leave her for work?
Thanks
i use to leave the house and wait for my dog to whine. then i would open the door and walk
to the crate and say "quiet". then i would repeat the same exercise several times. i slowly
started adding more time to not being in the house.
as part of crate training i often crated my dog when i was home. sometime i sat in the room
where the crate was. sometimes i moved to another room. if my dog started to whine i walked
to him and said "quiet".
Doggiedad, do you just not get positive training or are you a troll?
If the dog whines, it's because it's not content. Telling an anxious dog to stop whining won't make it feel less anxious. But coming back when it whines, whatever you then do, will encourage it to whine when you leave.
Thanks Judy - that isn't advice we would recommend, because as Judy says, it means setting your dog up to do the wrong thing, then going back and punishing the dog (punishment is not determined by US, its determined by the dog... its important to remember that just because WE do not think something is punishing, actually if its a consequence you apply immediately after a particular behaviour occurs, and applying that consequence results in the behaviour occurring less often, it IS a punishment).
HannahP86 wrote:Just read this today as I have a 10wk old Havanese puppy who's having trouble being left for any length of time, she howls if I disappear upstairs for a couple of mins.
Just wanted to say I found emmabeth's post really interesting and hoping to apply these techniques to help Katie.
Also curious to hear how Wilma's progressing, and how you coped with having to leave her for work?
Thanks
Sorry for the delay. I've been off line for a while keeping up with a busy puppy
Wilma is doing very well now. Before work she has a 25 min walk (with off lead time) and i then I get ready for work when she wanders around the house. As I leave I put her breakfast down along with a stuffed kong ball or rolling treat ball. I also leave the radio on. She is locked behind a baby gate with the run of kitchen and conservatory. I record her on random days to check her progress. Best case scenario is she eats, looks through gate, sighs, and goes to bed or plays with toys. Worse case, she will eat food and treat and then cry/howl for 10 secs max before going to bed.
The howl is less high pitch and more deep throaty sound...almost sounds annoyed rather than distressed now....but that could just be my interpretation.
She wakes, and potters around but doesn't cry any further. I can leave her for 4 hours at a time.
Best trick was to put some fresh chicken on her dried food in the morning...she is so excited by this she is less focused on my departure.
As for when I am in the house, she cries if i leave her alone for more than 10 minutes. This is progress but this is slower
However, we practice this less as it isn't required as much, whereas going to work is!!
Overall I'm really pleased with her. Hope ur pup has made progress
She has an open crate in there, and a baby gate preventing access to other parts of the house. 
She is left in the kitchen area with the radio on. She has a kong ball (as she does for bed) and this will last about 10 mins even with frozen food. She has other toys but doesn't seem to show an interest in these when we are out. She does not play. She sits at the gate or goes to her bed. We have practiced separations when we are home. She doesn't like these either as she will whimper, but will give up eventually and go to sleep. It doesn't escalate to crying. We have done this daily for past week for an hour at a time. She does not chew things when alone but she does wet the floor occasionally. We minimise fuss leaving, and wait a couple of mins before giving attention on our return. We also exercise her for 20 mins before leaving.
