Where do I begin?

[ellie1980]

Before I do, would just like to say that I am going to get advice locally about this, but any advice in the meantime is appreciated!

I bought Scottie, a 15 month old Cavalier King Charles from the original breeder last weekend. He was initially very nervous, but now seems to have bonded to me a little too much! I'm the only one he is responding to, not my husband or my son, is eating little (being picky) and is showing separation anxiety when left be it overnight or out of the house. He's already been nicknamed my shadow as as soon as I leave a room he's following me, although will settle down when I am there He's not allowed upstairs although will try to follow.

He's not had a lot of socialisation (again something that I intend to remedy), and doesn't play with any toys - I just don't think he knows what to do with them, so I am leaving food down when I'm gone, or a chew etc. i'd love to play fetch etc with him, but he just looks at me like I'm stupid when I throw the ball!

This is I guess the main issue for me at the moment, what can I do to reassure him I will be coming back? We have been leaving him for different periods of time at different times of the day so far, and it's getting worse, so I can see that I need to do something now. I've not owned a dog before so this is all new!

Congratulation on reaching the end of the post, please send any thoughts this way...

[Mattie]

Hi Ellie, welcome.

Do you give him the run of downstairs when you leave him? Many dogs can't cope with this, normally a dog's den is small and dark. Often a crate helps with this and some dogs like it covered.

When he is following you do you talk to him? Try not to, ignore him unless it is to tell him to do something like moving over. You need to make yourself boring so he will go off and do his own thing. This is what I do with all my dogs at first because they are attached like my shadow.

Get your hubby or son to feed and walk him, you back away from this until he is more settled.

I find lavender helps my dogs when I leave them, there are also herbal calmers that may help.

I am sure I have missed some things but someone else will remember.

[emmabeth]

Start as you mean to go on...

So - food gets put down twice a day, and picked up after 10 minutes. If its roughly the same time every day he will learn when food happens and he will learn to eat it when its there, or miss out.

As long as you are sure he likes the food and the food is good quality, then this is the way to feed to prevent having a picky fussy dog.

As Mattie says, ignore him when he follows, you are borrrrrrrrrrrring yawn yawn and you can show him how boring you are by really taking the mick and getting up five or six times to do a task youd normally do in one go. (So get up to put on kettle, go sit down, get up reboil kettle get out mug, go sit down, get up pour water on teabag go sit down, get up, add milk, go sit down, get up add sugar, go sit down, get up remove teabag and take tea and sit down)....

Eventually if you do a lot of stuff like this and you totally ignore him when you do it, he IS going to get fed up of trotting after you everywhere.

If you also have your husband and son feeding him then hes going to have more incentive to stay where they are too.

If he is nervous of other people, dont let them force themselves on him, husband and son feeding him is good but if hes nervous, then they should just put the food down and step back a fair way (but you should be out of the room entirely).

Any attempts to 'prove' that 'we are nice really' will backfire so tread carefully.

Now I did say, start as you mean to go on... but. There are exceptions to every rule and if he IS suffering badly from sep. anx. then it is possible he will settle faster and relax quick if he is allowed upstairs and can sleep in a crate in your room.

It need not be forever, if you want him out of there when he is settled then you simple move the crate gradually out of the room and down the stairs back to where you originally wanted him.

Curing sep. anxiety is difficult, and its infinately harder if you make the dog anxious and upset b y shutting him away every night - dogs dont learn anything useful when they are distressed, so if he is panicking or distressed he will NOT learn that its fine to be left.

[ellie1980]

Thanks for the responses. I do have a crate, which is covered, but he doesn't seem to like it much.

He has a basket and a small chair both of which he likes, do you think I should remove these and replace it with the crate?

[Nettle]

Does the basket fit in in the crate? If not, get one like it that does. Put in a T shirt or similar that you have worn and then had in your bed for a week so it really smells good of you.

[Horace's Mum]

Just wanted to add that you have had him less than a week by the sounds of things. It took my dog 4 weeks before he felt comfortable enough to even start exhibiting his true behaviour, and he is still changing almost week by week. He wouldn't play at all until I had had him 4-5 weeks, and even then it had to involve me doing all the work. So, while doing all the things above, try and also give him the time to realise that you are his family now, and you can be trusted to look after him. Is he even used to living in a house? I assumed when I got my dog that he would love being in a lovely warm house with cosy beds etc. but actually he found it very stressful because it was so different to his kennel.

Best of luck!

[ellie1980]

I just wanted to say thanks to those who responded to my post, it has really helped me get through a tough couple of weeks with Scottie. I am really pleased to report that following a VERY tough day, he changed almost completely overnight and has settled into our house routine, and is no longer messing in the house as soon as he is left, and is not following me quite as much.

I am looking forward to continuing his training. In other respects he's absolutely bombproof, after dealing with low flying jet planes out on walks, and fast moving traffic alongside a busy duel-carriageway.

Thanks again, am sure i'll be posting on here again!

[Nettle]

It's lovely to get feedback especially when it's so positive thank you