petting a dog

[dogs56]

I know dogs do not like to be petted on top of the head but many people do pet them that way. how can I get my dog used to that? I know someone will pet him like that no matte what I say

[Sarah83]

My dog is ok with people he knows petting him on the head, he is NOT ok with people he doesn't know petting him on the head, it frightens him and he will avoid it if they do so no matter how much we accustom him to it from us. I've found people do listen when I say he's frightened of hands over his head but loves a chin scratch or a chest rub. If someone can't do that then I move him away from them but I've only had to do this twice in all the time I've had him.

[Nettle]

Good for you to realise this - well done!

I just don't let people do it. If they won't be told, I block by putting the dog behind me, the same way I would if another dog came up to hassle it.

I've been known to grab hands and steer them back to their owners, and I've even patted people on THEIR heads while staring into their eyes and saying 'Intimidating, isn't it?' However the latter move IS extraordinarily confrontational as your dog already knows, and you have to be pretty cross to do it. I wouldn't recommend you do it - but it does make people more aware that what they are trying to do that I have just told them NOT to do is unacceptable!


Much safer just to stand in front of your dog and repeat the instruction as necessary. Also think of being positive - tell them they can stroke your dog on the sides or chest ONLY. That's if they ask nicely can they pat the dog - I say she doesn't like being patted but you can stroke her gently HERE. If they just go to help themselves to a patting session (it's for their benefit not the dog's) I just say the dog doesn't like being touched by strangers. I smile and say it in Joyce Grenfell tones - I'm enough to scare anyone when I smile.

[ClareMarsh]

Hi, I recognised this post and had a look and you've posted on this before, you got loads of great advice on how to prevent people doing it then and it sounds like you've been trying that but maybe it's not always successful. I would keep on with preventing people from doing it, even if you're not comfortable about that as it's better that you are uncomfortable than the dog. If the odd person slips through the net and manages to touch your dog's head then just call him away and move on, you've already told them no so there's no point debating with them It's not the end of the world and the more you do it the more you'll stop people making your dog uncomfortable. But please don't try to condition the dog to put up with something that it doesn't like

[ladybug1802]

Can I ask why you need strangers to pet your dog anyway? I dont mean that badly, just wondered why? I dont tend to let random strangers touch my dog....he has had pretty severe fear aggression issues until fairly recently, and I have done a LOT of work to get him to where he is now, so dont want some idiot to put him back a step! The only time people are allowed to touch him is if they are my friends, or if they are people on a walk we have got chatting to, and are interested in Dylan's issues and are willing to help.....and Dylan is allowed to sniff them, and if he stays there for longer than a couple of seconds I call him away, click and treat him. he is allowed to go back for another sniff, and we are now at the stage the people can then touch him briefly and treat him....but if I am in any doubt that they may do something silly, I just say he doesnt like being touched by strangers and, as Nettle says, block him from them.

Even dogs who dont seem to mind being petted on the head, are pretty likely to be putting up with it.....Dylan puts up with being petted on the head from people he knows, but I try to not do it much as he isnt overly keen on it.

[Sarah83]

Even dogs who dont seem to mind being petted on the head, are pretty likely to be putting up with it.....Dylan puts up with being petted on the head from people he knows, but I try to not do it much as he isnt overly keen on it.

Depends how it's done here. Rupert isn't keen on being stroked on the very top of his head but rub between his eyes and he's yours for life If someone he knows starts petting the top of his head he's very good at directing them away from it, he'll either move his head so his chin is on top of their hand, turn and offer them his backside to scratch just above his tail or move along so that their hand is on his shoulders, he LOVES a shoulder massage and goes all floppy

[Ari_RR]

When Ari was 5-6 months old, we would intentionally expose him to humans by taking him on walks through downtown streets on weekends (lots of people out on the streets). He didn't mind, actually he liked being the center of attention, and was curious of all the surroundings. And he was a very cute puppy, so kids and adults alike would just gather around him on the street.
As he grew older, he lost interest in strangers. And because he is now a 90+ lbs, rather mean looking animal, most strangers lost interest in coming over uninvited, and petting him.. The brave ones, or die-hard dog lovers, who still want to say hello, are usually cautious and first ask if he is friendly and if it's ok to make contact. He doesn't look exceptionally friendly, I must admit, but he will tolerate 20-30 sec of petting, then he will just step away. In any case, people usually ask permission.. Which gives me an opportunity to tell them "wait, let him come to you first, then, and give him a chest rub"... Or sometime to just say "sorry, he is not THAT friendly"'.
So, the issue of strangers feeling the need to pet him was resolved mostly by itself as he became bigger. But, generally, I agree with Ladybug1802. I don't want strangers to touch him. It's ok from time to time, after I can evaluate the person. And it's probably even good in small dozes in order to maintain his level of tolerance for being close to other humans without reacting to them.. But not as a matter of routine practice.

Cheers,
Eugene

[ladybug1802]

but he will tolerate 20-30 sec of petting, then he will just step away. In any case, Eugene

Thats great that he does that! That is what I am working on with Dylan now.....to let him know that he can spend a couple of seconds sniffing somoene, then he comes back to me, so he knows that if at any time he is uncomfortable he will come to me for security! It showed great signs of starting to work in the vets this morning!

[runlikethewind]

Hi Ladybug - BAT teaches a dog to approach and retreat like that but the dog does it of their own free will when they are ready or are 'done'. You look carefully for the look away and mark it and retreat (on or off lead either way is fine). The dog learns that a look away and the walk away (reward) - which comes naturally to 'balanced dogs' - is what can remove him from the petting giving him the power to say 'had enough now, I'm off.' It would also give him the confidence to approach (or not if he does not want to) in future (given repetition).

[ladybug1802]

Thats kind of what I am doing......just havent been doing this bit for long so at the moment, if he doesnt come away of his own accord after a couple of seconds, I call him and when he gets to me click and treat. This is to teach him just what you are saying....that when he isnt comofortable he can come away. It seems to be working very well. It is very similar to BAT, but this way comes more naturally to me....although there isnt much difference to be honest!

[dogs56]

I would like my dog to be petted by strangers because it is important. Sometimes other people like the groomer, vet, dog walker have to interact with my dog.

[runlikethewind]

There was a reason I stopped posting on this section. I've just been reminded why.

[jacksdad]

I would like my dog to be petted by strangers because it is important. Sometimes other people like the groomer, vet, dog walker have to interact with my dog.

Ok, my advice is to start by distinguishing who NEEDs to touch your dog from everyone else. There is absolutely NO reason your dog needs to accept just anyone and everyone touching him.

Does your dog need to be touched by the vet, yes. does your dog need to be touched by a random person walking down the street, no.

Soooo, you opened this thread with how do I get my dog to accept petting on the head. Again going to throw out my 2 cents. You don't. it's NOT worth the time and effort. and if your dog shows clear signs of disliking this, it would be WRONG to try and make him like it. why? first reason, your setting him up to possibly bite someone some day. dogs have their breaking points to and they usually end up paying the price, not the person who forced the issue. The second reason is you will NEVER get him to "like it". NO training method EVER will achieve that. what you will achieve is a dog who will "take it" which different than "accepting it" or "liking it". when you force someone to "take it" you risk building frustration and stress, which leads to the risk of reaching a breaking point that leads to a high risk of a dog bite. So, NOT worth it.

Now, before we go any further in this thread let me ask a couple of questions. how is your dog with strangers being near? how is your dog with strangers looking or approaching him? how is your dog with people touching him on the shoulders or chest or lower back area?

If your dog is completely people shy, we can help you help your dog become reasonably tolerant/calm with people who NEED to touch him such as your self, family, vet etc. But I will be very blunt and honest, your not going to get a lot of help in training your dog to endure touching and attention from people who have ZERO need to, IF he is already showing stress/fear/dislike of this.

[dogs56]

thanks

[fosterdogs]

I agree that a dog should get accustomed to strangers and their approaches. Some people will pet a dog over the head no matter what you tell them. I foster dogs and it is so important to socialize them well so they are used to people and how people greet them, to children and how they approach them. By the time puppies reach about 4 months old, the puppy should learn to accept being petted by strangers, meeting other dogs, being handled by a veterinarian or groomer, and meeting a wide variety of people. Under-socialized pups often become fearful, shy, unconfident, anxious, unhappy, unstable and sometimes even fear-aggressive. Such dogs are hard to live with, and the person responsible is the owner.