Just thinking out loud...

[Leigha]

It's always, um... "interesting" at my house, and just when we thought it was going to calm down and settle life just throws us a curve ball. We thought when the puppies left us (one has found a new home, 3 are still at the HS but are doing great!) a lot of the stress/anxiety at our house would go away. It did for about 3 weeks, we thought things were calming down a bit, then the seams started to unravel again.

For a while we've been feeding Bruiser and Dixie outside on the back porch. Dixie in one corner, Bruiser in the diagonal corner. I noticed last week that they were both a bit anxious about it (they'd originally been fine though--I watch them eat each night). Bruiser didn't really want to eat his food, so he'd try to walk down the stairs, which happened to be near Dixie's food. Well, that stressed her our so she'd growl a bit, but she's also try to go scope out Bruiser's bowl, which stressed him out a bit. So that night I sat between them and redirected them back to their respective bowls each time they tried to go near the other's bowls. When I saw they were both still really stressed out about it, I got Dixie's bowl and took her upstairs to eat. They were fine after that. J wasn't home during all that, but I mentioned to him that we need to start feeding the dogs separately again because they were both really stressed out that night at dinner. Did he listen to me? Nope. The very next night he fed them together outside. Bruiser and Dixie ended up getting into a fight. It wasn't a horrible fight, more bark and growl and jumping around than teeth. J got in between them and pushed Dixie away--she doesn't redirect on people, but when he pushed her away, she still tried to get back to Bruiser. I ended up getting a leash and holding an end in each hand was able to loop it across the front of Dixie and hold her so J could get Bruiser back inside. Bruiser ate upstairs that night, Dixie ate outside that night. I told him they needed to be separate for a while so they could calm down. Then I did the "I told you they need to eat separately" thing. Well, the next night he tries to take them both upstairs to eat at the same time, and he's carrying food--three guesses about what happened... I guess I wasn't clear enough that they don't need to eat in the same room together anymore because it's too stressful. Not only that, he doesn't monitor them when they eat. Dixie eats her food quickly, Bruiser not so much. So Bruiser will walk away from his food, Dixie will go over to eat it and then Bruiser gets mad. I don't know how he feeds them in the morning as I'm either at work or still asleep. So in the last week Bruiser and Dixie have had two fights. Bruiser's ear had a little puncture in it from one, the other was just yelling. In both Dixie kept going back to get to Bruiser after she was pushed away.

Outside of the feeding issue, I think Bruiser's just stressed out in general. He's started barking randomly at nothing (that we can see). He doesn't bark and run the fence with the neighbor's dog anymore, now he's just barking at who the heck knows what. Last night he started and he was behind the jungle by the fence (where he's impossible to get to). We had to go into our other neighbor's unfenced yard to be able to see him and he's beagle barking and digging a huge hole under the fence. We have no idea what he's barking at or if he smelled something, but it was definitely a beagle bark. It wasn't angry or vicious. It seemed more like "omg, I want that, let me out so i can have it." This went on for 10 minutes before I was able to get him back from there. He never used to dig, but I think he picked that up from Dixie.

On top of that, I think Bruiser feels neglected because when we let him inside he will come and sit down right on top of me and not let any dog near me. I have to move him and get up and walk away when he does that or else he'll get in someone's face and bark them away. He does it to me more than he does it to J. So J's solution is to leave Bruiser and Dixie out back (or in their crates for sleeping or if it's raining) and the weenies inside. It's no life for a dog!

J's getting pissed and frustrated with all of the dogs, which pisses me off and frustrates me because he gets this stupid attitude with the dogs (he doesn't do anything to the dogs, but walks around huffing and puffing with a chip on his shoulder about it) and he doesn't do anything to fix it. The dogs can't help that they're doing these things or that they're stressed out. Does he try to walk them? Nope, I can't walk Bruiser and Dixie together by myself and he doesn't really want to walk with me (he thinks it's boring) so it looks like I'm going to have to go on three separate walks every day. I can probably do 2 hour long walks--one for Bruiser, one for Dix, and do a shorter half hour walk for the weenies and they should (I hope) be okay.

School started last Wednesday, so I'm back to 10 hour days and not getting home until 5:30-6:00 at night. To top EVERYTHING off... I found out last Thursday I'm pregnant. It was absolutely a surprise and a shock, but we're happy about it. We'd planned to start next year, but God felt we needed it now, so we've got it now. We'll find out Friday exactly how far along I am (either 6 or 11 weeks, not sure which). So, I'm passed out, dead asleep by 8 each night and sleep straight through 'til 6 the next morning (which is why I've been disappeared from the forums lately). It's getting better and I'm not as tired at night. Last night I was able to stay up 'til 9:30 before turning into a pumpkin. Since finding out I'm pregnant J's convinced that we need to find new homes for the weenies (he's been talking it over with his sister) and now he's questioning whether or not we should find another home for Bruiser. I'm beyond pissed about it. I think he wants to get rid of the weenies because they get in his way and they bark at him whenever he tries to kiss me. They follow us around and get underfoot and he gets irritated about it. Personally, I think that's a dumb*ss reason. I could see it if he wanted the weenies to have a quiet retirement; his sister does dote on her current dog and take really good care of him, but who's to say they'll all get along? I'm just mad at J right now and I have no idea what the hell to do about any of our dogs right now. Ugh!

[maximoo]

First of all Congratulations! You will be a wonderful mother!! Its so exciting isn't it?

Dogs: well the issues wouldn't be so big if J would get on board with you. Try to convince him to at least walk 1/3 of the dogs. Boring?--can't he take an ipod with him? In any event you have to imagine what life is going to be like when baby arrives. Perhaps retiring weenies to sis in law is best for them. Send them to her for a wkend & see how everyone does. Bru is the toughest cookie of all and since he is the jealous type imagine him trying to jump on you when you are feeding baby? Of course you can pre-train him with a doll (like VS did on one of the eps). You have about 7 mths to work it all out so enjoy the 3 day wkend, go window shopping for all things baby, and take a well deserved nap when you feel like it. It will all work out in the end.

[jacksdad]

Congratulations.

as for the dogs. No answers, but i agree J needs to step up with them. I personally find walking Jack very interesting, I never know what he is going to find. It's ranged from a cow leg in the middle of a city in a front yard to a small garden snake a couple nights ago.

Tell J he can help with the dogs or do all the nursing and diper changing

[Nettle]

Congratulations from me as well

I wish I could offer some helpful suggestions - but we all know what would be helpful and it doesn't seem to be happening.

Sounds as if Bru realised you were pregnant before anyone else did.

Well, you ARE going to need some help. If J isn't going to help, what other options can you arrange? Time to call in some favours?

[Leigha]

Thanks all for the congrats! It was most definitely a surprise. One of my friends is pregnant and just a few weeks ahead of me, so I like having a support system. I'm excited for Friday to hurry up and get here so I can find out exactly how far along I am so I know I'm reading the right chapter in my book!

I may call the dog walker to come in and walk him or the weenies 3 times a week, in addition to me walking him. The doctor told me she wanted me to walk more, so I really don't mind walking him... it's just the thought of walking for 2 and a half hours every day that makes me want to pout. I make it sound like he's not doing anything (I was royally p*ssed off this morning, so I'm afraid I might have vented more than was fair). He's taken Bruiser on bike runs twice this week. We had to give him a break because one of his foot pads was a little raw so we've been letting it heal. I'm going to see if he'll run him twice a week with three days in between and I'll walk him the rest of the time. The walking really will do me good since I'm overweight and that's not healthy for the baby. I'm going to stop whining and put my big girl panties on and get it done!

[Mattie]

Congratulations Leigha, seems you are missing the pups so much you want a human pup instead.

Your dogs will be fine, by the time the baby is born they will be more settled and trained, dogs can walk really well with a pram, done that myself in the past. Your baby will benefit as well, all that fresh air when walking the dogs. As long as your baby is well wrapped up and warm, I used to put a hot water bottle in with my baby, wrapped up of course, and took my babies out in all weathers so I could walk my dog.

[Fundog]

Oh my gosh, Leigha-- CONGRATULATIONS! So when does this put you due? About May or June, depending on what you find out Friday?

[Leigha]

Thanks Mattie! It truly was an accident, I was completely when I found out. I actually said a few choice words to the pregnancy test along the lines of you've got to be kidding me, there's no way, holy crap, omg, and a few others. I was convinced when I went to the doctor that afternoon after work they were going to tell me my home test was wrong. I think it's still settling in that I'm going to be someone's mom in a relatively short period of time.

Fundog, I'm either in my 6th or 11th week, so my family doctor said my potential due dates from March 24th to April 27th. I'll find out for sure on Friday though, I guess. One of the girls I work with said they did a TV ultrasound on her first visit, and from what I'm reading in my baby book there's a HUGE difference developmentally between a (will be then) 7 week and 12 week little bean-baby, so hopefully I'll know for sure. J and my family dr. feel like I'm probably closer to the 11 week mark because when we found out I was pregnant I would have been 5 weeks pregnant (so the embryo would have only been 3 weeks) and the doctor said that's a bit early for finding out, not impossible, just really early. April would actually work better for me with my sick leave, but if it's March, so be it! Thankfully I had the intelligence to get short term disability last year, so that'll help a lot!

[Fundog]

Yes, your book is correct: There is a very big difference between a seven week embryo, and a 12 week fetus. (Hence the change in terminology) Just know we're all very excited for you, and if there is anything any of us veteran parents can help you with, or questions we can answer, don't hesitate to ask.

[maximoo]

Either mar or Apr will be a perfect time to have the baby. With your maternity (or sick) leave & summer vacation you'll have about 5 mths at home (if u choose to go back) Everything will work out You are a very smart a level headed lady, I'm not worried about you & the dogs. You've handled crisis quite well, so you'll easily work out what is best for all the dogs. You & J are a good team. ( he may need reminding from time to time tho)

[jacksdad]

well it might not have been timed to what you and J were thinking, but on the other hand you won't be 8 months pregnant in a southern summer either.

so, to get the parenting advice started off on the right foot...remember it's click THAN treat.

[Leigha]

Yes, I'm very thankful that I can do the pregnancy during the cooler months. I hate the heat, so I can only imagine being hot and pregnant.

[Mattie]

Looks like you are going to have time to write that book Leigha

[wvvdiup1]

Jacksdad wrote:

so, to get the parenting advice started off on the right foot...remember it's click THAN treat.

And Mattie wrote:

Looks like you are going to have time to write that book Leigha

Now, that's funny!
I can imagine the title of one of the chapters, too! It's called "Click and Treat Your Son or Daughter"

[***Melissa***]

Congrats Leigha It doesn't always happen the way we plan it - Hein and I had to try for a year to fall pregnant

I'm not sure if this will be of any help, but here goes.

I'm 23 weeks pregnant, and I found out when I was 5 weeks. Hein works away from home a lot, and in the 1st trimester I was REALLY REALLY nautious, tired, irretated and just pissed off in general, and wasn't in the mood for anything or anyone (thank goodness, it's much better now). My dr also told me "walking is good for pregnant women" - I felt like slapping him and asking him if he knows how it feels to run to the bathroom every 10 mins and be so tired you can barely lift your arms...NOW HE WANTS ME TO WALK?!?!?!

With Hein not always being there (and even when he's there he won't take the dogs for a walk, unless it's somewhere off lead) I had to deal with feeling crap and exercising the dogs. So during that time I didn't take them for walks every day - I took them every second day, and not for as long as I was supposed to - some days 45 mins, some days an hour, depending on how I felt. Now that I'm feeling better they are back on their old schedule - some days it's still challenging though, but it's nothing compared with the 1st trimester.

There were days where I felt Hein was doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to help (he was actually very supportive) and I can't cope with everything. But as the 1st trimester passed, the nausia and most of the tiredness and pissed off-ness went away, and in general I'm feeling way better about everything. I think it's got something to do with in the beginning while the placenta is still forming your body have to produce all the hormones the baby need, and by the end of the 1st trimester the placenta has taken over most of the hormones' job, hence the feeling better (or something like that).

Anyway, don't beat yourself up over the dogs. And mabe you can take Bru & the weenies one day, and Dixie the next for their walks, so they get exercised every second day for the time being - it will make your daily walks a little shorter. As for J - maybe he's also stressed & overwhelmed about the baby (I know Hein was). I think all you need to worry about for now with J is to get him on board with the feeding thing. And make use of the dog walker also.

In the beginning of my pregnancy my dogs also acted differently. Bibi was okay, but Striker was extremely clingy for the first few weeks. He got over it though.

And maybe wait untill you're feeling a little better (and J is more relaxed) before making decisions about the weenies - or ask J to wait a bit

Hang in there - I know the 1st trimester is horrible, but it will be over soon. The second one is much better (so far - touch wood)

Anyway, I know every pregnancy is different, so everything I'm saying is from the point of view of how I felt. But I hope it helps a little.