If I seem a little odd./quiet./cranky...(sad stuff, sorry)

emmabeth · Post by **emmabeth** » Wed Oct 01, 2008 11:40 pm

Just to let you all know - I might be AWOL, or quiet on here for a wee while as my Mother died on tuesday morning in not particularly pleasant circumstances (I found her collapsed in her house) and asides from my sister who lives several hundred miles away and is a particularly difficult person to deal with... she has no other relatives...

So, crash course in organising funerals and contacting friends from around the globe required.. and I will probably seem a little odd to those who know me relatively well on here (mind you I seem odd anyway, so maybes y'all wont!)...

I will continue to be modding this forum, keeping it tidy and answering posts as it gives me something to do and take my mind off things and I feel thats pretty important for me - but do bear with me if i go a bit strange from time to time.

Kind words, thoughts and candles lit are much appreciated and should anyone feel the urge to actively 'do' something (I know some people often feel that words are rather empty at times like these, but believe me, they really do help), then I can pass on details of a couple of charities she supported via PM.

I will be clinging dearly to my rather off key sense of humour as it has served me so very well in the past, so please no one tiptoe around me nor fear saying the wrong thing!

Also if anyone has any handy hints and tips on things that need doing wrt to selling houses, cars, etc I would be very greatful as I do feel a wee bit out of my depth with some things (yeah.. im 28 going on 14...).

Em

ckranz · Post by **ckranz** » Thu Oct 02, 2008 1:47 am

My sympathies to you and yours during this difficult time. I know all too soon both my grandmothers too will be passing on, 1 is over 100 and the other is 99 but has no desire to see 100.

I live quite far from each so I only get a weekly update. I have always been close to them and will miss them greatly. I expect when I visit my parents in a couple of weeks will be the last time I see them alive, and that has me somewhat depressed.

I find that hugging my 4-legged friends and working with them has help considerably with my moods.

Take care and blessings for you and your family

thistledown · Post by **thistledown** » Thu Oct 02, 2008 3:04 am

So sorry to hear of your loss emmabeth.

Yes, you'll need that sense of humour. Sometimes a rather black humour is all that keeps us going at a difficult time. S*d those people who think it is inappropriate. Anyone who has been there knows it is vital!

Regarding selling stuff .... IME sometimes it is better to sell at a lower price than we expect just to enable us to move on. Holding out for a better price might work in some economic climates but not at the moment.

Just do whatever your heart tells you is right; whether or not anyone else agrees, or whether polite society considers it 'appropriate'. I found it extremely theraputic to take bags of ma's 'stuff' and hurl them into the council skip

Lots of goodvibes on their way to you

xxxxx

emmabeth · Post by **emmabeth** » Thu Oct 02, 2008 3:24 am

We are giving loads of stuff away because its very pleasing to find things nice new homes... but ive got a white van to deal with.. and a 2 bedroom bungalow as well in the fullness of time.... lol

Theres a few valuable books i want to find loving custodians for but ill ponder that a bit more...

Anyway im orf to bed happy in the knowledge htat ive at least sussed out the music... Ying tong iddle i po!

Nettle · Post by **Nettle** » Thu Oct 02, 2008 4:01 am

)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))HUGS(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

You really NEED dogs at a time like this.

Mattie · Post by **Mattie** » Thu Oct 02, 2008 7:19 am

I have pm you Em, I had to go through all this 2 years ago when my husband passed away. I somehow managed to find another 2 dogs to fill the gap he left.

Chloe&Atlas'smom · Post by **Chloe&Atlas'smom** » Thu Oct 02, 2008 7:40 am

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I hope you find comfort in daily life and your 4 legged babies will comfort you and just know that my house is thinking of you and yours. all my prayers

Monkey · Post by **Monkey** » Thu Oct 02, 2008 9:00 am

Sorry for your loss, we send you big hugs and doggie kisses from New York. I candle will burn for her in this house...

(words are so tiny in a situation like this)

Mollysmom · Post by **Mollysmom** » Thu Oct 02, 2008 11:04 am

heart felt condolences Em, We just dealt with the passing of hubby's grandmother in March this year. I'm sorry you're having to go through all this alone, but at least you had a relationship with your mother, and wish for her belongings to be distributed with some feeling

(hub's uncle is in charge of grandma's estate and has alienated everyone and is being a right boob about it all... I've cursed that man 5 times to next Sunday

)

I don't know how things work in the UK but I'm sure if you have an estate lawyer s/he will be able to coach you through things as well. Hug the pooches, grieve if you need to, it's natural. And know that there are perfect strangers on the other side of the pond who support you. <3

dobiemuse · Post by **dobiemuse** » Thu Oct 02, 2008 11:14 am

I know I'm very new here, but I've also recently lost a close family member. So, big hugs to you.

I'm sorry you also have so much to deal with. Just remember to grieve.

WendyM · Post by **WendyM** » Fri Oct 03, 2008 1:28 pm

My thoughts are with you Emmabeth. I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope the best for you and your family.

Bingles · Post by **Bingles** » Sun Oct 05, 2008 5:53 pm

My very deepest sympathy, My thoughts and prayers are with you

NicolaLloyd · Post by **NicolaLloyd** » Mon Oct 06, 2008 7:04 am

So sorry to hear about your loss emmabeth.

I'm not the best at providing emotional support (i have a terrible habit of my foot in it and saying the wrong thing), but i am quite good at providing practical support. I've found a couple of websites which might help -

http://www.facingbereavement.co.uk/OrganiseFuneral.html
http://www.co-operativefuneralcare.co.u ... eafuneral/
http://www.funeralsuk.com/funeral_servi ... hester.htm
http://www.funeraladvisers.org.uk/funeralbook.htm

Take care, hope you are getting plenty of hugs from the dogs x

Ocelot0411 · Post by **Ocelot0411** » Tue Oct 07, 2008 5:20 am

Oh Em that's awful and my thoughts are with you at this sad time. I am only around the corner and have some time on my hands over the next few weeks so if there is anything I can do to help just give me a shout.

Nettle · Post by **Nettle** » Tue Oct 07, 2008 5:56 am

I'll sing the ying tong song with you

(starts)

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

ingtongyingtongyingtongyingtongyingtong iddle-i-po

Impossible to feel sad and sing the ying tong song.