Some bad news

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Lotsaquestions
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Some bad news

Post by Lotsaquestions » Mon Jun 04, 2018 3:34 am

It isn't dog related, well it sort of is because of my question.

Basically I think me and my OH are splitting up. Long story, but it is his decision and it came out of the blue so understandably I'm a bit shocked. We've been together for 7 years, got a house together, and financially I was dependant on him whilst I was writing my book. I'm self publishing that this week, but I now need a job. I'm trying to keep sane by keeping busy.

I have a degree, but I just don't want to follow that specialisation anymore. I want to get a career in writing, or eventually open up my own dog training school. Right now I'm looking at employment at a guide dog school, taking care of the dogs. I am wondering, since some of you work with dogs behaviourally, how did you get into it? When I put my mind to something I learn everything there is to know about it, think the school swott who studys for entire days. I wrote revision books longer than actual books for my degree, for example. :lol:

I'm learning to drive (crash course!) and I hope to see if I can become an understudy with a dog trainer. I know three I admire and would love to work with and learn from.

JudyN
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Re: Some bad news

Post by JudyN » Mon Jun 04, 2018 3:56 am

I'm sorry to hear your news :( Can I ask if Merlin will be staying with you? I know how upsetting it would be if there was a custody battle ((((Hugs))))

I can't help with the question about dog training as a career, but I'm sure others will have great advice. I hope you will be able to manage financially until you sort out your career.

A rather cheeky offer - because I see so many great self-published books that are let down by it being obvious that a 'proper' proofreader hasn't cast their eye over it - would you like me to have a look at your book, or is it too late in the timescale to make changes? I hope that doesn't sound patronising, but there are some very experienced writers who miss glaring (to a proofreader) errors because they're just to close to the text. It would be completely gratis of course :D PM me if interested.
Jasper, lurcher, born December 2009

Lotsaquestions
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Re: Some bad news

Post by Lotsaquestions » Mon Jun 04, 2018 4:04 am

I would absolutely love for you to take a look. It is a fantasy book and it probably really needs editing, but I don't have the luxury of time to do that anymore. I was sending it off to agents and got some good feedback, but that whole process takes months to years. I have to warn you - it is long. I'll get it all sorted ready for later today, and PM you.

Merlin is staying with me, no question. He's my dog really. If I end up homeless my parents have even said Merlin would be with them (and me there too!) and we'll have to just manage around their dog aggressive Yorkie. Even if I end up living in a caravan, he'll be with me. We can both live off cold beans. :lol:

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Re: Some bad news

Post by JudyN » Mon Jun 04, 2018 4:26 am

Lotsaquestions wrote:
Mon Jun 04, 2018 4:04 am
If I end up homeless my parents have even said Merlin would be with them (and me there too!)
I love the way that making sure that Merlin has a home seems to be more of a priority than making sure you do :lol:
Jasper, lurcher, born December 2009

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Nettle
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Re: Some bad news

Post by Nettle » Mon Jun 04, 2018 4:43 am

I'm so very sorry to hear you are having these awful problems. I do have every confidence in you for making good decisions.

Re: dog training - very sensible to shadow one or more pro trainers, but you need to pay the bills too, so that will probably be in your "spare time" yes I know - what spare time.

As a pro trainer myself I urge you with all my heart and soul to get a job that will teach you those boring skills such as in Insurance, Marketing or Accountancy, even if at a very junior level, while you study the dog training. You need people skills every bit as much as dog skills because you will be training people to train their dogs, and the people are the hard part. If you have a chance to study basic psychology, that is very useful also. However, my own experience (and psychology fascinates me - it would, wouldn't it, as human and animal behaviour doesn't differ much} you are probably better to study on your own, as I have found some very odd bias, agenda and lack of understanding in the midst of those who teach professionally.
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Re: Some bad news

Post by Shalista » Mon Jun 04, 2018 5:16 am

ummmm re: proof reading. i write fantasy books as well and im part of a tight knit circle of beta readers. im not sure that id be able to drag any of them along (one is currently betaing MY book. I'm hoping to start querying agents for trad publishing by the end of the year.) but id absolutely love to give yours a look and give you a line by line crit on content.

if you dont mind sharing just PM me the google docs link and Ill get started right away.
Baxter (AKA Bax, Chuckles, Chuckster) Rat Terrier, born 01/16/13

Lotsaquestions
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Re: Some bad news

Post by Lotsaquestions » Mon Jun 04, 2018 7:48 am

Thank you everyone, any beta reading is invaluable. Criticism only helps you fix what is broken!

@Nettle I did psychology A level, and I have worked in two customer orientated services before. One an office admin and another a cashier (ugh worst job ever). I've met and dealt with my fair share of the general public, at least! At the moment I've put my feelers out for employment with guide dogs, and the RSPCA, for some small income whilst I get my life on track. I am hoping to get involved in behaviour that way, maybe work extra hours to assist with their behaviourists. One of the trainers I respect came up from Dog's Trust.

If those don't pan out as an income earner, I'm going to look at signing up with a tutoring agency. Come from a background of teachers, was thinking of doing it myself after my degree, and I'm well versed in english & history. Not many people hiring history tutors but I bet I could get some jobs doing english.

@Judy Ofc Merlin is my priority, I wouldn't be a crazy dog lady if he wasn't! :lol:

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Re: Some bad news

Post by JudyN » Mon Jun 04, 2018 8:06 am

Shalista, maybe we can play to our strengths - so (I'm just guessing at yours here, but you'll get the idea) you could focus on stylistic features and 'Didn't he have green hair in Chapter 6?' and I could concentrate on 'Should that semi-colon be a colon, isn't that the US spelling rather than UK, and wasn't that hyphenated earlier in the book?'
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Nettle
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Re: Some bad news

Post by Nettle » Mon Jun 04, 2018 8:29 am

Lotsaquestions wrote:
Mon Jun 04, 2018 7:48 am


@Nettle I did psychology A level, and I have worked in two customer orientated services before. One an office admin and another a cashier (ugh worst job ever). I've met and dealt with my fair share of the general public, at least! At the moment I've put my feelers out for employment with guide dogs, and the RSPCA, for some small income whilst I get my life on track. I am hoping to get involved in behaviour that way, maybe work extra hours to assist with their behaviourists. One of the trainers I respect came up from Dog's Trust.

If those don't pan out as an income earner, I'm going to look at signing up with a tutoring agency. Come from a background of teachers, was thinking of doing it myself after my degree, and I'm well versed in english & history. Not many people hiring history tutors but I bet I could get some jobs doing english.

You are well prepared then - good luck!
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DianeLDL
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Re: Some bad news

Post by DianeLDL » Mon Jun 04, 2018 8:42 am

Lotsaquestions,

First of all, I’m so sorry about your life situation. I’ve been through 2 divorces including one custody case, and I lost custody of my only SON, a human. So, it’s great that it’s been decided you get Merlin. That’s the major part of it. And, I’m glad your parents are being so supportive. :D

I once thought about writing cozy mysteries, but gave up that idea. I’m taking an online course in therapeutic writing which is fantastic. It’s helping me see my past more objectively (re: losing custody of my son), and today we are working on our present lives.

I admire your courage for having written your book as I never did.
I wish you the best with your book and the same for Shalista. I would take up both Shalista’s and JudyN’s offers. And, I like the way JudyN put it. You really need both sets of eyes to see your material from a different perspective. You are very lucky since JudyN is professional editor. (One of my classmates in my therapeutic writing course is also a professional editor.
And, with Shalista’s own writing and her experience in her group, you will get a great way to see your book with fresh eyes.
I was in a writing group for a while, and it was an eye-opener as well as very valuable.

So, I would take both of them up on their offers.

As to dog training, I believe Nettle knows much more than I could ever say, so I would listen to her.
I do agree that some accounting and management and marketing studies would be helpful just to stay on top of the mundane part of you do run your own business. And, marketing would be invaluable to market your book as well such as knowing to whom you are trying to sell it and who you expect to read it.

My OH and I are like you that when we encounter anything new, we jump in and learn all we can. When he was diagnosed with bladder cancer, he purchased and read about 10-15 textbooks on bladder cancer, urinary tract, surgery, etc. and, he even got some med students to print articles at the hospital library for him.

So, I suggest you look at dog training and behaviorist learning as a priority as well as human psychology. Nettle made a good comment in that you are training the owners as much as the dogs. And, we all know people come in with their own ideas and have a hard time understanding why your approach to training is different than I need not mention who. But, many people do have those ideas and learning how to show them and help them understand how positive training as well as all those other psychological stuff that works and has been written about well here about conditioning, etc.

And, don’t forget that it’s also going to be an adjustment for Merlin. He’s used to OH being there and won’t understand what happened. :shock: So, Merlin going to need lots of love and attention as well to get over this situation. Becoming attached and then his other person is suddenly gone will be a loss for Merlin. He may be clingy for a while with fear that you may also disappear. So extra attention to Merlin is very important.

I wish you all the best. And let us know how it is going for you as well as how Merlin is adjusting.
((((HUGS))))
Diane
Sandy, Chihuahua mix b. 12/20/09

Lotsaquestions
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Re: Some bad news

Post by Lotsaquestions » Mon Jun 04, 2018 10:51 am

Thank you Diane. Sorry to hear about your son, relationship breakdowns are just horrible especially when you've built a life together.

Merlin at the moment doesn't think anything is amiss. His 'dad' is still coming home at the moment and probably will for a while I expect. Until I've found a job I'm still going to take him out on his usual walks, some normality is helping me stay sane at the moment. It is all really surreal. I'm in the same house, same bed, doing the same things just with job seeking mixed in, but in reality everything has changed.

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