Can I rant for a second?

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Johnnalyn
Posts: 58
Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2012 1:48 pm

Can I rant for a second?

Post by Johnnalyn » Wed Jun 28, 2017 5:16 pm

Sorry, I just wanted to talk to some people about this but remember our new border collie/Aussie/heeled mix Kipper? Well we've been in touch with the people who bred him and recently a dilemma came up where one of Kipper's brothers was being returned because they found out he's deaf. The breeders had asked my mom numerous times to take him but we already have Kipper. Finally she gave in and said "we'll take him for a bit and see how it works out". I've heard and read many times over the course of many years that's it's never a good idea to take on sibling puppies. And I noticed as soon as Kipper's brother came to our house Kipper listened a lot less and got more hyper. He also got more rough with our older (10yr) Pomeranian. He used to just chase him but now he grabs onto his fur and yanks him when he's trying to play frisbee. I've never seen him do this until his brother came along. He also used to run with our husky and me on the longboard (our husky pulls the longboard on the road) but now he won't go down the driveway because the deaf one refuses to go out of the yard. I explained to my mom that it's a lot of work raising two puppies let alone siblings. She completely agreed with me earlier but found that Kipper listened this morning even though he completely outright ignored her last night so she thinks they'll do just fine if she takes them to work with her and she stays on Kipper.

I'm not sure what to do... I think 4 dogs is a lot of dogs especially since she already wants to get rid of our Pomeranian because he marks every once in a while in the house and makes "annoying" squeaking noises when he's excited. The deaf dog is a really good dog, he stays close to his owners and is quiet and calm for the most part just like Kipper used to be but Kipper is changing now. Also, I feel like they basically just said F U to the research I've done and what I think is best for all the animals in the house..

Anyways, end of rant! Thanks guys for reading 😂
Last edited by Johnnalyn on Thu Jun 29, 2017 9:25 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Nettle
Posts: 10594
Joined: Sun Apr 13, 2008 1:40 pm

Re: Can I rant for a second?

Post by Nettle » Thu Jun 29, 2017 4:15 am

Rant away - it's part of our support for each other that everyone can come here and rant. And we do so understand.

Bottom line is that while you live with Mom, she makes the decisions, right or wrong. It sucks but that's how it is - and a great incentive to leave home and run your own life. Even if that isn't possible for a few years, it's something to plan and work towards.

You feel hurt because you are right in your conclusions and yet nobody takes any notice. This will happen all your life. All everyone's life. It isn't personal - it's just one of those things. People are very bad at taking advice unless they have sought it and are paying for it (and sometimes not even then). It's doubly difficult with family because family never credits you with being sensible or knowing anything. My 74 year old brother, who knows nothing about dogs, often gives me dog advice, and I am a very well qualified professional :lol:

The best thing you can do is back off and leave Mom to it. It's also the hardest! And when Mom says she doesn't know how to stop this or that, she isn't looking for advice - she's looking for support. Hard as it is, the very best response is something like Oh dear, what do you think we should do? But don't offer the advice that is jumping up and down in your mouth. It's human psychology.

The other useful life lesson is that people will keep on and on and on for you to do something that makes their life easy and yours difficult. Now you have seen what happens when someone gives in. When someone starts wheedling and whining and putting pressure on for you to do something that you know is a bad decision - never never never NEVER give in. It sets a precedent and they'll always do it. And you will be the sucker. Trust me - I have had a lifetime of people trying to do this. It's something people do, relying on our good manners to help them out of a problem that will leave you worse off.

And I guarantee that within six months they'll have another dog.
A dog is never bad or naughty - it is simply being a dog

SET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS

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Johnnalyn
Posts: 58
Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2012 1:48 pm

Re: Can I rant for a second?

Post by Johnnalyn » Thu Jun 29, 2017 8:43 am

Thanks for responding Nettle! I'm 24 and I just had to move back with my mom because of circumstances in my life after college. I know while I'm here it's her choice but it doesn't really help my frustration since I've really been the only one training Kipper since we got him and I just have a really bad feeling about bringing on the littermate. I see everyone else saying "aww he's herding Baron. It's cute!" And "Awww he loves chasing the cat, that's funny!" While I just see red flags for future problems. My mom asked me when we got the puppy to help train him into a great dog because if he doesn't turn out great she won't want him. If he isn't attached to her or if he doesn't listen well or if he's obnoxious in any way she won't want to deal with it. She's almost outright gotten rid of all the dogs earlier this year because the owners of the house we're living in are deciding to sell it and it's hard to find a place that'll take 3 dogs. So I guess it makes no sense to me why we'd take on another haha.

I've read countless books, scientific articles, watched plenty of shows. I was very close to going to behavioral school to become a trainer back in college but it didn't work out. I guess it's worth noting too that both puppies are 4 months old right now.

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