How to deal with people who are misinformed

[carrie_02]

So, recently in one visit with an aunt who I don't know well, she mentioned two things that I strongly disagree with and that were based on misunderstandings that unfortunately a lot of people have. They were that-

1) Pit bulls are always aggressive and mean
and
2) Cesar Millan is a great dog trainer.

Luckily, this woman is one of those really chatty people who will talk about anything, so I was able to immediately steer her away from these subjects onto something completely different. I feel very strongly about these subjects and when I am emotionally tied to something, I cannot argue things well yet also in an understanding way- I get very upset and don't get my point across well.

When someone mentions the above things, how do you handle it? Thanks so much for your advice!

[Erica]

I've found the kindest and generally only way to get someone to be open to your side of the story is to allow for the things that their side might be correct about. In the examples you give, for instance, you could say "Pit bulls were bred for fighting and do have high instances of dog aggression, but plenty are tolerant of other dogs and they generally love people." or "Milan is right in that dogs can't be expected to behave in a way we like if their needs for exercise aren't met, but I've found that his methods of training are often very outdated and are advised against by veterinarians and highly respected trainers." This way it's not "No, you're wrong," which gets anyone's hackles up, but "You're right about this! I also think..." and then maybe they'll keep what you say in mind next time they encounter something that goes against their opinions. It's difficult to change someone's mind about something when they're set in it. (for example, my brother gave me a hard time last night for advising against letting his girlfriend's 20 lb dog drink beer.) But a bit of give and take helps people open up to the idea.

Really, the best way to change someone's mind is to present it as a story, as people tend to drop their hard-and-fast beliefs when they're engaged in fiction. But that's not really helpful for most situations

[carrie_02]

I've found the kindest and generally only way to get someone to be open to your side of the story is to allow for the things that their side might be correct about. In the examples you give, for instance, you could say "Pit bulls were bred for fighting and do have high instances of dog aggression, but plenty are tolerant of other dogs and they generally love people." or "Milan is right in that dogs can't be expected to behave in a way we like if their needs for exercise aren't met, but I've found that his methods of training are often very outdated and are advised against by veterinarians and highly respected trainers." This way it's not "No, you're wrong," which gets anyone's hackles up, but "You're right about this! I also think..." and then maybe they'll keep what you say in mind next time they encounter something that goes against their opinions. It's difficult to change someone's mind about something when they're set in it. (for example, my brother gave me a hard time last night for advising against letting his girlfriend's 20 lb dog drink beer.) But a bit of give and take helps people open up to the idea.

Really, the best way to change someone's mind is to present it as a story, as people tend to drop their hard-and-fast beliefs when they're engaged in fiction. But that's not really helpful for most situations

Thanks for your help, Erica!