Positive Methods Work on School Kids Too!

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Fundog
Posts: 3874
Joined: Wed Dec 03, 2008 8:31 am
Location: A little gambling town in the high desert

Positive Methods Work on School Kids Too!

Post by Fundog »

First some background: Long before I ever got a dog, I used positive methods on my own human children: I rarely "told" them to do something, but almost always "asked" them with "please" and "thank you." (Funny thing, my father did that, while my mother used the other method, under threat of bodily harm if we did not comply.)

If my dogs are outside barking at a feral cat, I don't go yell at them. I just calmly (even cheerfully) go outside and herd them inside. Barking stopped, problem solved, dogs happy, people happy. :D

Now for those of you who missed my latest "introduction" post updating y'all on what I'm up to now, I am a substitute teacher at the school here in town. Sadly, I keep hearing a triumphant "Yessss!!!!" when the kids find out I am their teacher for any class that day. Then I hear them tell me I am their favorite sub. Then (and this is the sad part) they start bashing another substitute, while each student in turn says, "I don't like him. No, me neither!"

Why don't they like this other substitute, and moreover, why do the kids prefer me?

Well, this substitute yells at them. Yes, really yells. And if they put just one toe out of line, he "writes them up" for the real teacher. Students who get "written up" get detention.

I'm the opposite: I never yell, unless the students are being so loud they can't hear me. But that is rare, and I try to use all my other "tricks" before I resort to raising my voice above them.

I ask, I don't boss. I use "please and thank you."

I give a "positive" instruction that is incompatible with whatever the student is doing that is not okay. ("Walk Please! {"Thank you" when they slow down}; "Please stop," when a student is doing something annoying, etc.)

And I encourage, encourage, encourage!

I've decided the next time these kids start telling me how much they don't like the other substitute, I will guide them in a constructive discussion about how they can help Mr. So-and-So improve and become a more positive mentor.
If an opportunity comes to you in life, say yes first, even if you don't know how to do it.
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Nettle
Posts: 10753
Joined: Sun Apr 13, 2008 1:40 pm

Re: Positive Methods Work on School Kids Too!

Post by Nettle »

Brilliant idea, Fundog. And those kids are so lucky to have you as a chink of light in a hostile world. :D They have a chance to learn a better way of managing the people in their lives.

I wish I'd learned that in school.
A dog is never bad or naughty - it is simply being a dog

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JudyN
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Re: Positive Methods Work on School Kids Too!

Post by JudyN »

A lot of it is to do with respect, isn't it? I listen respectfully to my children, I listen respectfully to my dog and in return, they listen (mostly) respectfully to me.

I often say 'please' and 'thank you' to Jasper. He may not understand the words, but just using these words alters the tone of my voice from a sharp command and I'm sure he picks up on that.

No doubt people will think that a sharp command works better than a polite request, because a request implies the possibility of refusal, but just try going up to someone and saying 'Sit!' then saying 'Could you sit, please?' and see which is more likely to get the desired response.
Jasper, lurcher, born December 2009
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Nettle
Posts: 10753
Joined: Sun Apr 13, 2008 1:40 pm

Re: Positive Methods Work on School Kids Too!

Post by Nettle »

Lurchers are a very good way of retraining 'sharp command' people, because if they don't think you are worth it, they won't do it - and they only think you are worth it if there is mutual respect :lol:
A dog is never bad or naughty - it is simply being a dog

SET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS
MPbandmom
Posts: 1637
Joined: Sun Jan 03, 2010 7:18 pm

Re: Positive Methods Work on School Kids Too!

Post by MPbandmom »

Hi Fundog, I missed that you were subbing now. Great news. As a former sub, I can say that not only do the children know which sub they prefer, the teachers know as well which ones are a good match for their classroom. I never felt particularly competent as a sub, and I hold a teaching degree. I was rather surprised one day when a teacher informed me that I was considered a preferred sub. I am by nature an extremely tolerant person. I did observe that after a couple of years of subbing, I was much more aware of when something needed to be addressed sooner rather than later. :lol:

I always went into a class with name cards for each desk, to help me keep track of the students' names, but also as a reward system. I also took a poster which spelled out the kinds of behaviors that students could earn rewards for. Rewards being smilie faces stamped on their name cards, which could add up to larger rewards like fancy erasers or pencils. This worked in most classes and I only subbed in the elementary grades.

If you sub mainly in one school, you get to have a better relationship with the students. I subbed in three different school districts, but could have easily subbed in 4 due to where I am located. I picked up an application for the fourth one a couple of times, but never completed it. There was just something about that 4th school system that I was uncomfortable with. After 3 years, I realized subbing wasn't going to lead to a teaching position and that I was missing out on the long term sub positions due to medical appointments for one of my children. To have work through the summer, I signed up with a temp agency which lead to the position I have held for the past 16 years or so. The first fall when school started up again, it felt strange to not be heading to a school to work with children. Gotta pay those bills though, and I do like my current employment situation.

Best wishes to you subbing and keep up the positive methods.
Grammy to Sky and Sirius, who came to live with me, stole my heart, and changed my life forever as I took over their care and learned how to be a dog owner.
Shalista
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Re: Positive Methods Work on School Kids Too!

Post by Shalista »

My sister in law has a 4 year old and we frequently compare notes on dog vs child raising. the cross over is fantastic =P we've started sharing articles
Baxter (AKA Bax, Chuckles, Chuckster) Rat Terrier, born 01/16/13
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