Might have to send my baby away..

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jacksdad
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Re: Might have to send my baby away..

Post by jacksdad » Sat Sep 29, 2012 3:08 pm

yummybagel wrote:Unfortunately, since school has started already it's close to impossible to find an open apartment and a new roommate. Seems like Bagel and I are going to have to put up with it for a year, until I make some friends here and until the lease ends. Sorry about the ranting. It destresses me :D
is this your first year in college? if so, you might be surprised in about a month what might open up. lots of people drop out or reduce their class load etc after the first month or two and that could affect alternate housing options.

change of semesters is also a good time to make changes.

I would keep an eye and ear open for opportunities. Don't just assume there won't be any.

yummybagel
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Re: Might have to send my baby away..

Post by yummybagel » Sat Sep 29, 2012 3:26 pm

jacksdad wrote:is this your first year in college? if so, you might be surprised in about a month what might open up. lots of people drop out or reduce their class load etc after the first month or two and that could affect alternate housing options.

change of semesters is also a good time to make changes.

I would keep an eye and ear open for opportunities. Don't just assume there won't be any.
It's my frist year in a university. I've been attending community college for three years at home, and now I've moved out to attend a university far from home. I will definitely keep an eye out for opportunities.

emmabeth
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Re: Might have to send my baby away..

Post by emmabeth » Sat Sep 29, 2012 6:33 pm

Do you have a crate and is Bagel crate trained?

I think for now, crate train him and use that for the times you absolutely MUST be out of the house and he cannot come with you.

When you are home, tether him to you - and try as hard as possible for you and Bagel to be OUT of the house elsewhere, doing something else.

As Jacksdad says, in a few months a ton of people will have quit uni, gone home, fallen out with their housemates and be looking to move, and you will know the area better and hear of alternative housing arrangements or know where to look for them.

There will be lots of opportunities to move either into a new place on your own, or swap into a shared place with someone else or whatever so don't panic and definitely don't assume it won't ever be possible, it will if you keep your eyes open for that chance.

Hang on in there because the first few weeks/months at University are incredibly stressful, often filled with some very silly people who have little idea of how to live with other people in a reasonable manner (after all, most peoples previous experience is living with their parents, by their parents rules and of course their parents tolerate stuff that would be totally unacceptable from anyone else).

In a while it will settle down and the completely off-their-heads unrealistic ones will either have run home to Mom and Dad or have moved in with the other nutballs, people wil have quit trying to prove themselves or reinvent themselves into a cooler person etc etc and it will be ok.
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Flyby
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Re: Might have to send my baby away..

Post by Flyby » Sun Sep 30, 2012 2:48 am

Jacksdad beat me to it Yummybagel, you can bet that right now there are ad-hoc households brought together by circumstance, fighting over the TV, dirty dishes in the sink, rotten milk in the fridge, who ate all the bread, and who finished the toilet roll without fetching a new one. And other issues too, but let's not go there...

Keep your eye on the noticeboards for people looking for flatmates, or even initiate something yourself. Try to stay positive and creative about how you deal with things, and better solutions do turn up. Ask people who you get along with if they have rooms going or if they're unhappy where they are and want to get a place together. 4 or 5 people, even students, need similar accommodation but often have more buying power for paying rent than a family with two kids. That's also 4 or 5 pairs of eyes looking and listening for places coming available. There will be options opening up, if your head is in the right place to think about them. Keep at it until you find a place that's special. You won't regret it I promise. Apart from anything else, it actually feels pretty good to be taking control and actively looking after yourself, - and Bagel. That's what being at college/uni is all about, - every bit as much as the course you're on.

Those who tolerate what they find unacceptible often end up tolerating it for a very long time. It's a bad habit to get into and corrodes your self esteem. And if Bagel likes to potter about, tell him he's welcome to come and potter around my own place and the yard as much as he likes. Might have to clear it with team OdinPippin, but they won't mind either, they're a pushover.

Ari_RR
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Re: Might have to send my baby away..

Post by Ari_RR » Sun Sep 30, 2012 4:37 am

yummybagel wrote:... but with school starting I don't know how often I'll be able to train him. This is also another reason why I'm debating about sending him home. What if I get so busy that I can't train him as much as I should?
Follow up on this, Yummybagel.. Be honest with yourself.. Uni life can be quite hectic, lots of things going on, will you have bandwidth for your dog? Dog ownership usually involves sacrifices, even in the best of circumstances. Give this some good thought, you are on to something, maybe sending him back home is not such a bad idea... Don't bite more than you can chew. And remember this - I am sure there are examples out there of someone who has managed to keep all the balls in the air - studies, dogs, friends, social life and everything else. This doesn't mean that you can or should. You know yourself best, make a decision based on your own strengths, weaknesses, abilities and circumstances.

Good luck

bendog
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Re: Might have to send my baby away..

Post by bendog » Sun Sep 30, 2012 4:57 am

I did three years of Uni with a dog or several! And now studying for a phd with 4 dogs.

During my degree I lived with my boyfriends parents, and his brother, sister, their partners, baby nephews etc and so it was an absolute nightmare. I stuck it out only so I could keep my dog, since dog friendly student accommodation was impossible to find. As a result I was living quite a commute from Uni, and missed out on virtually every aspect of social life. In that 3 years not once could I invite a friend round to mine since it wasn't my house. My dog grew overweight since people were feeding him titbits and saying they weren't, I had to get up at 6am every day to walk him and then walk again in the dark when I got home so I was permenantly exhausted.

Now in my own home with 4 dogs it's not much easier, every spare minute is practically devoted to the dogs, walking, training, etc. I don't often go out much in the evenings since if I've been out for 12-14 hours during the day I feel bad leaving them again to go to the pub or whatever. And thankfully I have my boyf who lives here too so walks them in the evening for me, and means they aren't alone more than about 6 hours a day (we stagger shifts somewhat to minimise the time the dogs are alone for).

Do I regret missing out at Uni? No, coz I would do anything and give up anything to have my dog/s with me. But making that choice has had a huge impact on my social life, relationship (living with boyfs parents was incredibly stressful), house (I'm still a long commute from Uni coz being near good dog walking spots was higher priority). And no, you don't have time to train a dog and study, so you have to make time, which means sacrificing nights out, watching tv, chilling out, and devoting that time to training.

If you are prepared for that then good for you but it's not easy.

yummybagel
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Re: Might have to send my baby away..

Post by yummybagel » Fri Oct 05, 2012 9:14 pm

emmabeth wrote:Do you have a crate and is Bagel crate trained?

I think for now, crate train him and use that for the times you absolutely MUST be out of the house and he cannot come with you.
I have a kennel and though he didn't care for it before, Bagel has been going in it a lot more these days. I think whenever he feels stressed out, he goes in his kennel and just sleeps. Whenever he goes in there to sleep, I say "Good boy" and leave him alone. I probably should give him a treat though? But how long is it acceptable to keep him in there? Some days I'm out three hours, some days two hours, some days six hours..I think my roommate saw that I was stressed out so she has been throwing all of her stuff on her bed so that Bagel wouldn't go on it. So for several days now I've been just leaving him in my room and right before I leave I sprinkle treats here and there around the room, including his kennel.

Bagel's also been on leash most of the day. I take it off for him at night when he's sleeping. Poor guy, must be uncomfortable :cry:
emmabeth wrote:There will be lots of opportunities to move either into a new place on your own, or swap into a shared place with someone else or whatever so don't panic and definitely don't assume it won't ever be possible, it will if you keep your eyes open for that chance.
No openings yet, but I think it's still too early and I'm keeping my eyes peeled.
Ari_RR wrote:Follow up on this, Yummybagel.. Be honest with yourself.. Uni life can be quite hectic, lots of things going on, will you have bandwidth for your dog? Dog ownership usually involves sacrifices, even in the best of circumstances. Give this some good thought, you are on to something, maybe sending him back home is not such a bad idea... Don't bite more than you can chew. And remember this - I am sure there are examples out there of someone who has managed to keep all the balls in the air - studies, dogs, friends, social life and everything else. This doesn't mean that you can or should. You know yourself best, make a decision based on your own strengths, weaknesses, abilities and circumstances.

Good luck
I am still considering the option of sending him home. I've arranged it with my parents so that if Bagel and I can't adjust until November, my parents will come over for Thanksgiving and take him back home. So we have until November. I wouldn't be able to give him the ideal amount of attention, but I do think he'll receive more care with me than with my parents. But I'm just giving things a chance.

I'm worried though, because I feel as if Bagel has been sleeping alot. If I were to give a run-down of our schedule, in the morning from 6 to 7 45, we either go to the park where he is put on a long leash and allowed to sniff howevermuch he wants to, or a long walk around the neighborhood. I usually alternate between the two. One day it's the park, and the next day it's the long walk. After we come back we wait about an hour or so. Then it's clicker training for about ten to fifteen minutes. But sometimes he doesn't want to do it. He prefers to sleep, which is a big surprise for me. Then he gets breakfast, and after he's done eating I leave for school. When I come back we greet each other and I do my own thing until about 3pm, which is when I give him a walk for half an hour. When we come back, he usually goes directly for the room that he's not supposed to go in, and when I block him he heads toward the couch where he sleeps. I try to play games with him, but many times he's just not that interested. Maybe I'm boring. :cry: Then we do some training. I've been trying to teach him to get off the furniture, "leave it," and going into his kennel on cue. Then it's another walk for another half an hour, then some games. But again, he doesn't want to play sometimes. After about an hour and a half or so he has his dinner, but I try to do some clicker exercise before he eats. Then he sleeps some more until he gets up, sniffs around, then he goes to bed. This schedule I follow for about four days a week. For the remaining three days a week, I just give him walks and make sure I give him attention, but he doesn't get play times or training. It's so that I would have some time to study. But the amount of sleeping that he does worries me. He sleeps when no one's doing anything with him, and even when I try to do things he sometimes prefers to sleep.

I worry that he might be depressed. But he's very alert during walks, and he eats very well. Should I be worried?

emmabeth
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Re: Might have to send my baby away..

Post by emmabeth » Sat Oct 06, 2012 9:27 am

That actually sounds pretty good to me - try to schedule some games or training in the time when he would normally try to sneak off and go in a room he isn't allowed or generally be active/curious.

Otherwise I think you are doing pretty good - if he is happy to be crated then up to four hours is ok - for the days you are gone six hours either ask one of the housemates/roommate who can be trusted to let him out, take him out to pee etc, or leave him loose if you cant trust that they will let him out.

You would need to build up pretty slowly to leaving him crated that long but it is do-able and if he seems happy to sleep, he may well not mind being crated if he is left with a Kong or similar fun thing to do.
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gwd
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Re: Might have to send my baby away..

Post by gwd » Sat Oct 06, 2012 8:52 pm

bendog wrote: And now studying for a phd with 4 dogs.
it's not easy. when OH started grad school, we had three dogs. apartment living wasn't an option. priority was a fenced yard. we ended up having to pay much more in rent than most because of that requirement. .........and to top it off, 6 months into the phd program i discovered i was expecting. that is NOT the way we had things planned! to minimize costs, i ended up working a 2nd shift job. OH had to take such classes as physical chemistry, chemical kinetics, thermodynamics ......all while being responsible for an infant and 3 dogs. its a rigorous 4-5 year program.

it's not an easy path as you well know, but it can be done. if phd's were easy, everyone would have one! ........and best of luck on your studies
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yummybagel
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Re: Might have to send my baby away..

Post by yummybagel » Tue Oct 09, 2012 3:07 pm

I've been looking around for doggy daycare for days when I have to stay out for awhile. It hasn't happened yet, but thought it would be good to know one or two. There was one that I liked, which is a day care run by a female at her house with her two small dogs. There will be other dogs, I presume but I think she usually keeps things small. But one problem is that Bagel is a serial humper. I found that he really likes the white and fluffy ones and he usually humps the ones that are "weaker". Should I continue on with the idea of doggy daycare, and how do other people deal with the humping??

emmabeth
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Re: Might have to send my baby away..

Post by emmabeth » Wed Oct 10, 2012 8:22 pm

Humping - redirect to something else, often serious humpers are best off being taught to hump a specific toy when they are in that mood (and its usually anxiety/stress that causes it) - so if you get a BIG cushion or teddybear and teach him to hump THAT, he could take it to daycare.. and then just explain to the daycare person he does it when he is excited/stressed and can she just direct him to hump the toy please.
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yummybagel
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Re: Might have to send my baby away..

Post by yummybagel » Mon Nov 05, 2012 4:59 pm

So as an update, I did find a place, but unfortunately, I can't move out because my lease is not over until June, next year.
The door problem has somewhat disappeared, Bagel is not attempting to go in the room as often as before. He still tries from time to time though. But the problem now is that for some reason, he constatly wants to go on my roommate's bed. Is there any way of training him not to go on? I've been giving him treats whenever he is on his bed or mine. I've been training him "off," but he doesn't listen even with treats once he gets on the bed. I've also been keeping him harnessed most of the times, except when I feel really bad and take it off of him from time to time. My roommate doesn't want babyrails on her bed, and I'm not sure what else I can do.

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