Problems unraveling

[ClareMarsh]

In that case I wouldn't volunteer for any of them, at least until she can be left. Think of it as maternity leave

I think that this is a very good way of looking at it. You have taken on a dog who really needs you, she needs your help and she needs to be able to trust you. My worry would be that these rescues are not a place for her to build her trust in you. I think for now, at least, you need to put her first and last.

I personally wouldn't work for these rescues anyway given the way they operate but that is another debate I have a friend who is looking to help out older people who can't get about but have dogs who aren't getting walked or who they might have to surrender by walking them for the older people. You could in the mean time think about what else you could do to help dogs that doesn't put your dog and you in such a stressful situation

[jacksdad]

In that case I wouldn't volunteer for any of them....

I am in 100% agreement. you can always come back to volunteering at the shelter/rescue at another time. just because you are "only a volunteer" shouldn't mean you can't or shouldn't speak up. If there is a rule that says you can't speak up...RUN, you don't belong there.

Sophie is YOUR DOG. NO ONE...let me say this again NO ONE at that shelter/rescue can force you to do anything you don't want to do or have happen to your dog. They can offer their opinion all they want...till the cows come home for all you care. BUT it's just that, their opinion. You have final say.

Also, NO ONE...let me emphasize this even more NO ONE there should be touching your dog without your permission. I don't care how much they disagree with your approach, or think you are a mush mellow etc. their hands don't touch YOUR DOG without YOUR PERMISSION.

sounds like in addition to all your other issues there they have boundary issues. As in thinking they are allowed to be correcting/touching a dog that isn't their's.

I agree with you, Sophie is gravitating to you because your safe. BUT if you want her to listen and respond to you, you also need to protect her. Time to step up your game. If someone had picked up Jack (my dog) and tossed him (all 4 paws off the ground) things would have not ended well and most likely would have ended up with police involve. read into that however you choose, BUT throwing a dog under ANY circumstances that is considered "training" or "correction" IS NOT ok, or justify able. It's abuse...PERIOD.

You have some thinking to do. In my opinion (and it's just mine), right now Sophie is priority. her being there in the shelter/rescue, let alone locked in a room, IS NOT helping you help her adjust and grow confident. She needs your focus and attention. your time needs to be going to her right now. So for the "short term", in my mind it's a no brainier. You quite the shelter/rescue and focus on Sophie.

Long term, that is where the "you have some thinking to do" comes in. long term you need to think about if you can maybe be a "change agent" for the shelter/rescue in your area. it would clearly be an up hill battle. You are going to probably need to go develop some "street credibility" so to speak first. Something along the lines of "remember Sophie...look at these titles, ribbons, things we did" Or maybe, hey I have a certification in X and I know what I am talking about etc Or maybe just walk away and find some other why to help dogs in your area.

[ClareMarsh]

How are you doing Wilkie, it must be tough. You have a new dog who needs help and I know (although mine was a puppy not a rescue) how tiring and frustrating it can be working with a dog that needs a lot of help, however positive you try to be. And then you have the rescue work which sounds stressful even without Sophie to consider and even if you stop doing it for a while I guess taking that decision and telling them will be tough if that's what you do.

I really feel for you and we're all here to help as much as we can on-line. I hope you are looking after yourself too

[Wilkie]

I can leave my other dog home and she's perfectly content with chilling out because she old, but Sophie is young and all over the place with energy.

In that case I wouldn't volunteer for any of them, at least until she can be left. Think of it as maternity leave

Maternity leave... I like the sound of that! I'm not there on a daily basis as it is.

By the way, it took Sophie only a few minutes to give me her paw yesterday. I wanted to try that because she doesn't like her paws being touched or any part of her body really. For her to put her paw in my hand is a major accomplishment. Now she freely does it and expects a delicious piece of food. Her vet said she can't get fat because it will put strain on her long dipped in back so she gets a lot of prays and playtime mixed in with food rewards.

A friend rang the doorbell and when I invited them in; Sophie walked up to him, sniffed him, growled, barked and licked his hand. What does this mean? To me it looks like mixed signals. She's a little nervous about someone she doesn't know, but at the same time she was being friendly

[Wilkie]

In that case I wouldn't volunteer for any of them, at least until she can be left. Think of it as maternity leave

I think that this is a very good way of looking at it. You have taken on a dog who really needs you, she needs your help and she needs to be able to trust you. My worry would be that these rescues are not a place for her to build her trust in you. I think for now, at least, you need to put her first and last.

I personally wouldn't work for these rescues anyway given the way they operate but that is another debate I have a friend who is looking to help out older people who can't get about but have dogs who aren't getting walked or who they might have to surrender by walking them for the older people. You could in the mean time think about what else you could do to help dogs that doesn't put your dog and you in such a stressful situation

I was considering dog walking, but wasn't sure how to go about that exactly. Like, how to start it up. I did a little dog sitting before Sophie came into the picture, but I don't think that would be a good idea now.

[Wilkie]

This was definitely not expected. I started getting involved because I lost my dog who was absolutely one of a kind and helping other animals was a way to not dwell on the negative. Unfortunately, sometimes the things that start out great tend to go down hill in the long run. I got Sophie from one of the shelters that I started volunteering at along with the rescue after being denied by the same rescue I'm involved with and some other rescues for ridiculous reasons even though my application was more than perfect . I have never had a herding dog before so this is new territory for me. I had no idea she was a retriever AND a herder all mixed into one until recently. This makes for an interesting time both indoors and outdoors. I don't know if anyone on here has a retriever/herding dog, but if you do, how do you handle them? Today, she didn't want to go to the bathroom, she just chased birds, ate things, ran around with the head of a sunflower, jumped on me, bit my arm, ripped up grass, chased squirrels and played with her ball. right now she is ripping a hole in her squeaky toy that she loves. She destroyed most of her toys. Oh and she's barking at her brush.

I showed some of the people at the rescue the things Sophie and I have been working on and they were completely baffled by my approach because I train her without touching in a negative way. Sophie now knows "Sit", "Down (lie down)" and "Paw (shake)". I had to start from scratch in or to get her to lie down because the original way that I was "advised" wasn't working whatsoever (having her follow the treat down to the floor). Now I do everything the same way Victoria does it in her little training videos. I have high hopes for Sophie because she's so intelligent. She even knocks on doors before wanting to come in or to let me know she wants to leave a room. She kept pushing a door open and pushing it shut so I had no idea where she was until she pawed at the door .

I guess on top of helping Sophie gain confidence, I need to gain some more confidence as well! I don't know anyone who believes the same things I do as far as how to be around animals. All of you here on the forum have been so wonderful with your support and encouragement. It is much needed and I am grateful

[Wilkie]

How are you doing Wilkie, it must be tough. You have a new dog who needs help and I know (although mine was a puppy not a rescue) how tiring and frustrating it can be working with a dog that needs a lot of help, however positive you try to be. And then you have the rescue work which sounds stressful even without Sophie to consider and even if you stop doing it for a while I guess taking that decision and telling them will be tough if that's what you do.

I really feel for you and we're all here to help as much as we can on-line. I hope you are looking after yourself too

I don't think I have had much sleep since Sophie came into my life, but I love her to death. She also made me realize that I am completely out of shape!

[Wilkie]

In that case I wouldn't volunteer for any of them....

I am in 100% agreement. you can always come back to volunteering at the shelter/rescue at another time. just because you are "only a volunteer" shouldn't mean you can't or shouldn't speak up. If there is a rule that says you can't speak up...RUN, you don't belong there.

Sophie is YOUR DOG. NO ONE...let me say this again NO ONE at that shelter/rescue can force you to do anything you don't want to do or have happen to your dog. They can offer their opinion all they want...till the cows come home for all you care. BUT it's just that, their opinion. You have final say.

Also, NO ONE...let me emphasize this even more NO ONE there should be touching your dog without your permission. I don't care how much they disagree with your approach, or think you are a mush mellow etc. their hands don't touch YOUR DOG without YOUR PERMISSION.

sounds like in addition to all your other issues there they have boundary issues. As in thinking they are allowed to be correcting/touching a dog that isn't their's.

I agree with you, Sophie is gravitating to you because your safe. BUT if you want her to listen and respond to you, you also need to protect her. Time to step up your game. If someone had picked up Jack (my dog) and tossed him (all 4 paws off the ground) things would have not ended well and most likely would have ended up with police involve. read into that however you choose, BUT throwing a dog under ANY circumstances that is considered "training" or "correction" IS NOT ok, or justify able. It's abuse...PERIOD.

You have some thinking to do. In my opinion (and it's just mine), right now Sophie is priority. her being there in the shelter/rescue, let alone locked in a room, IS NOT helping you help her adjust and grow confident. She needs your focus and attention. your time needs to be going to her right now. So for the "short term", in my mind it's a no brainier. You quite the shelter/rescue and focus on Sophie.

Long term, that is where the "you have some thinking to do" comes in. long term you need to think about if you can maybe be a "change agent" for the shelter/rescue in your area. it would clearly be an up hill battle. You are going to probably need to go develop some "street credibility" so to speak first. Something along the lines of "remember Sophie...look at these titles, ribbons, things we did" Or maybe, hey I have a certification in X and I know what I am talking about etc Or maybe just walk away and find some other why to help dogs in your area.

As hard as it is to decide even though it probably shouldn't be so hard . You are right.

[bendog]

Yeah I think she seems quite nervous of people.
My little poppy is quite hand shy and quite nervous when she meets people at first. Despite never being hit or hurt or abused in any way. Once she has met someone once she usually runs right up to them the second time, but her first meetings are quite shy and nervous. I would probably be having friends/guests/strangers ignore Sophie for now, and let her sniff them if that's what she wants to do, or approach them in her own time but make sure people make no effort to touch her and just ignore her completely. One thing I did with one of my OHs friends who poppy really didn't like and would always bark at was to sit outside the room he was in, leaving the door open. Poppy would at first get treats just for seeing him through the doorway and not barking, soon she was running up, sniffing his sock, and then running back to me for a treat. She was never forced to go near him. And he always ignored her, even when she was sniffing him. And she knew she could run back to me if she got scared. She's now totally fine with him.

I would also stop working at the rescue. Just explain that you have enjoyed your time there but you want to concentrate on Sophie now. At least until she can be left alone happily. I don't have retrievers but I do have terriers and they are hard work in different ways, but still very high energy. Dealing with a pup like that is pretty much a full time job for a while!

[Wilkie]

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[gwd]

I would also stop working at the rescue. Just explain that you have enjoyed your time there but you want to concentrate on Sophie now. At least until she can be left alone happily. I don't have retrievers but I do have terriers and they are hard work in different ways, but still very high energy. Dealing with a pup like that is pretty much a full time job for a while!

i'm 100% in agreement with the group here. ......it would be different if the rescue work was your job, and paying your bills was dependent on your being there day in, day out, but it's something you're doing by choice.

i will say that i applaud your motives in giving your time to help other dogs. that said, your priority is to the dog that depends on you. having adopted sophie, you entered into a 'contract' with her to give her the best you had to offer. the rescue center causes her stress and right now, that's just going to interfere with her progress.

you can respectfully tell them that you just can't continue to volunteer your time until sophie gets to a point where she can be left at home and not be stressed.

on another topic......don't hesitate to stand up to people that are doing things you don't authorize with respect to sophie. ....even if it's uncomfortable, find that stainless steel spine that i know is in there somewhere. you are her advocate and her voice. ......speak up for her. stand between her and those that would do things that don't reflect your training philosophy. i know you can do it!

[Wilkie]

Yeah I think she seems quite nervous of people.
My little poppy is quite hand shy and quite nervous when she meets people at first. Despite never being hit or hurt or abused in any way. Once she has met someone once she usually runs right up to them the second time, but her first meetings are quite shy and nervous. I would probably be having friends/guests/strangers ignore Sophie for now, and let her sniff them if that's what she wants to do, or approach them in her own time but make sure people make no effort to touch her and just ignore her completely. One thing I did with one of my OHs friends who poppy really didn't like and would always bark at was to sit outside the room he was in, leaving the door open. Poppy would at first get treats just for seeing him through the doorway and not barking, soon she was running up, sniffing his sock, and then running back to me for a treat. She was never forced to go near him. And he always ignored her, even when she was sniffing him. And she knew she could run back to me if she got scared. She's now totally fine with him.

It's hard to avoid people, especially the ones that stop by for whatever reason. For example, the guy that stopped by didn't know I had another dog. He just let her sniff his closed hand and pet her when she let him. He didn't do what the old man did, that's for sure. It was a more relaxed situation and he kind of ignored her. I know that not everyone is going to be like that so I guess I better prepare to lay down some ground rules.

I would also stop working at the rescue. Just explain that you have enjoyed your time there but you want to concentrate on Sophie now. At least until she can be left alone happily. I don't have retrievers but I do have terriers and they are hard work in different ways, but still very high energy. Dealing with a pup like that is pretty much a full time job for a while!

Well, I don't have to go to the rescue at all this week because I'm busy, which is a short term fix.

Sophie is sneaking into a container of sugar when I'm not looking because she bounces off the walls. She'll go from being extremely shy to extremely nutty. Today she jumped on my bed with mud on her paws! I also have holes in pretty much every piece of clothing because she's grabbing at me all the time. My Shepherd was always fairly lazy, but she did go through the terrible 2's and my Rottie was the same way. Sophie is the first dog I ever had that's crazy. I don't look forward to her being 2 because if she's a wild little girl now, 2 would probably send me straight to therapy.

[Wilkie]

I would also stop working at the rescue. Just explain that you have enjoyed your time there but you want to concentrate on Sophie now. At least until she can be left alone happily. I don't have retrievers but I do have terriers and they are hard work in different ways, but still very high energy. Dealing with a pup like that is pretty much a full time job for a while!

i'm 100% in agreement with the group here. ......it would be different if the rescue work was your job, and paying your bills was dependent on your being there day in, day out, but it's something you're doing by choice.

i will say that i applaud your motives in giving your time to help other dogs. that said, your priority is to the dog that depends on you. having adopted sophie, you entered into a 'contract' with her to give her the best you had to offer. the rescue center causes her stress and right now, that's just going to interfere with her progress.

you can respectfully tell them that you just can't continue to volunteer your time until sophie gets to a point where she can be left at home and not be stressed.

on another topic......don't hesitate to stand up to people that are doing things you don't authorize with respect to sophie. ....even if it's uncomfortable, find that stainless steel spine that i know is in there somewhere. you are her advocate and her voice. ......speak up for her. stand between her and those that would do things that don't reflect your training philosophy. i know you can do it!

I feel like I'm getting a Braveheart speech . On a serious note, you are absolutely right. It's hard trying to do both and getting "advice" thrown at me from every direction and having people tear me down just for doing the right thing.

[gwd]

I feel like I'm getting a Braveheart speech . On a serious note, you are absolutely right. It's hard trying to do both and getting "advice" thrown at me from every direction and having people tear me down just for doing the right thing.

do NOT wave yer bare arse at the rescue folks!!! i'd hate to think of what would happen to sophie should you find yourself incarcerated!

[Wilkie]

I feel like I'm getting a Braveheart speech . On a serious note, you are absolutely right. It's hard trying to do both and getting "advice" thrown at me from every direction and having people tear me down just for doing the right thing.

do NOT wave yer bare arse at the rescue folks!!! i'd hate to think of what would happen to sophie should you find yourself incarcerated!

I don't feel THAT inspired! Wow, I just spit my drink on myself. Thank you for that, I needed a good laugh. I am too errr... ladylike to do such things , although I wouldn't mind giving them a piece of my mind