Refraining from posting on fear-based issues...

[runlikethewind]

Hi there

Just wanted to inform anyone who is interested that I can't contribute any more dog training queries because the mentality of some people is driving me insane and I need to start thinking about my state of mind when I read people here stating they will knock their dog's teeth out etc.

I am easily upset and riled - having dogs with sensitivity issues too myself (and working through them), I find it ludicrous that people make idiotic statements. Even such harmless ones like "my dog (a beagle) can't walk in the rain as the vet told me they have sensitive skin". What the?? There is a wealth of information out there - good books, bad books, good forums, bad forums. It is all there for the learning and a wonderful journey it is. It does not take a degree in rocket science to figure out that knocking your dog's teeth out is absolutely stupid.

It is fine that people might takes ages to get here and need to see the light side of dog training and have their misunderstandings explained and hopefully move towards having a better relationship with their dogs but I need to step away from people who write such rubbish. Making statements in jest or being angry or upset at the point of posting is no excuse in my inexperienced view. I have been there - but I would never write some of the drivel that comes out of people's mouths.

I will leave the patience and understanding to the trainers - that's their job to train the people too as well as helping train the dogs. That is a skill I don't have.

I would like to contribute to the health section still.

[Jindo]

Well, that's why they come on here though right? To learn?

[runlikethewind]

Jindo yes of course I did make it clear in my post that people come here to learn. I came here several years ago as fresh to learn as everyone else (most people). Since then, I have carried on learning loads to make my dogs' lives happier. I also posted loads about fear-based modification techniques to try to help others, trying to pass on little snippets of what I have learnt (or raising big snippets like the BAT technique) What I am making a point about is having to remove myself from the dog training section on fear-based posts in order to keep a calmer outlook during my day because I cannot handle some of the comments made. That is my prerogative and this is the general chat section for general chats.

[Sarah83]

People are here to learn, we are not born with a knowledge of dogs and we don't all have years to spend reading all the information out there, we have a problem and we need to know how to fix it ASAP. And a hell of a lot of the information out there is conflicting, you read one thing it says to do this, you read another it says to do that, you ask someone, they say to do something else, someone else will say to do yet another thing. How are you supposed to know which is right?

And I'll admit, there are times I feel like knocking my dogs head off but it doesn't mean I'll do it! I threaten him with dire consequences on a pretty much daily basis, he just wags his tail and grins at me I'm sure there are those who mean it literally but I think for a lot of people it's just to give an idea of just how frustrated they are.

[runlikethewind]

I'll admit the same to getting angry (I have been there many times but I know my getting angry is wrong and not helpful at all to the dog; it upsets me and it upsets them; totally pointless) but I would never dream to consider it ok to write about physical punishment as we see here.

Personally, I don't think there is any excuse for a lack of knowledge nowadays - perhaps if you have no friends, no internet, no telephone, nobody at all and no clue what you felt was right and what you felt was wrong, then maybe.

And I personally found even just a basic internet search on let's say 'dog barking at stranger' or 'dog cowering or being aggressive towards me' would throw up - thankfully - more gentle, modern, constructive articles and advice than stuff from the old ways.

If people do say these things as 'sayings' or in jest- well there is no smoke without fire.

[Suzette]

We all have our gifts and our limitations RLTW. It certainly is your prerogative to post when and where you want here with no explanation necessary.

Having said that, I think people who come here with inflammatory statements like "knock their teeth out" aren't necessarily here for help, but to incite. (And for the record, I don't know the specific post you're referring to with that comment, this is just a general observation on my part.) People who think that way and would actually do such a horrendous thing would most likely not be here looking for any type of help.

Still, I can see how those types of posts would be upsetting enough to you that you simply choose to remove yourself from seeing such trash in the first place.

For those who do come here looking for help, even if their questions or concerns seem silly or even "idiotic", I give credit to them for coming here and asking, learning, and growing in their dog skills. We all have to start somewhere and at least they're asking and not just plodding along with their dogs paying the price.

[ClareMarsh]

I need to start thinking about my state of mind.

I believe it's a wise person who steers clear of things that are negatively impacting their state of mind, a lot of people wouldn't even realise this. Whilst it would be lovely to float zen like through all experiences smiling serenely real life isn't like that

[Sarah83]

When there is so much conflicting information out there though how are people supposed to know which is right? Sure you can say go by what feels right but many people see absolutely nothing wrong with giving a dog (or a child) a good hiding when they do something wrong. Before getting Rupert I thought nothing of smacking my dog when he did something "bad" or yanking on a choke chain or yelling at them. That was how I'd been taught to train a dog, that's how a hell of a lot of people have been taught to train a dog. I feel terribly guilty about what I did to Shadow and Wolf in the name of training now but when I had them it was all I knew, THAT was the information that was given.

I say kudos to those who are coming here, posting about their issues and genuinely wanting to learn better ways to live with their dogs. It can be a very difficult thing to accept that you're wrong, that everything you've been taught is wrong. Especially when certain tv trainers with excellent teeth are doing those types of things and seemingly getting results.

It's your perogative to post or not post where you like but these people are here and asking for advice, at least give them credit for that.

[emmabeth]

You are under no obligation to post anywhere, and I want you to know that your contributions to this forum ARE appreciated, but I can understand that sometimes it probably doesn't feel like that, and sometimes you do have to step away from the 'toxic people'.

Somedays I will come and read a post and think 'oh my god... can people still really think like that' and have to step away for an hour or two until my head in is a better place, so I really do understand how you feel.

Soo.. you do what you want to do, what you are happy to do, and thats fine

[wvvdiup1]

I see Emmabeth is taking my advice! That's why I had to get away from posting anything in that section, too! Besides, I think we have a lot of these issues somewhere on the database(s) of this forum and that one should enter the key words in the Advanced Search box and find out that information, not keep reposting the same issue. That drives me "bonkers"!

Besides beating your head against that proverbial wall, just relax and have some cyber wine, chocolates, or whatever makes you happy!

[Suzette]

Just to be clear, I absolutely support RLTW's decision on this and respect how she feels. Some days we can only take so much.

But because lots of folks read before they post - including this particular thread - I wanted to throw out that I also think it's commendable that folks post their questions no matter how "dumb" they might think they are because it does educate them and benefits the dog. Yes, there is a ton of information out there about training and living with dogs; books, internet, tv, etc. But everyone has to start somewhere and for some folks, this forum just might be their 'starting point'.

I also understand about different folks posting the same questions over and over - but we are aware of that, not them. Many of them just got here. It frustrates me too on occasion, but I try to put it into perspective and understand that they often come here distraught over some situation with their dog. That doesn't usually make any of us think as clearly as we normally would (like thinking to use the search feature before posting to see if it's already been addressed).

[thepennywhistle]

There is no reason on this earth to deliberately bring internet upset into
your life. While you might have some observations to contribute that might
help someone else, on the whole there will be no negative repercussions to
stepping back from a place you KNOW is going to disrupt your state of mind.
Certainly in NOT courting the upset there will be positives for you and your dogs.
I'm a big believer in Peace, so if this decision is going to bring you peace, then
go for it. You can always change your mind later if you so desire

[minkee]

rltw: always look after yourself first and foremost. That might sound like a selfish sentiment, but I don't think it is. None of us are of any use to anyone for very long if we don't look after ourselves. We have to make sure we can look after ourselves first, so we can look after those closest to us next, and if there's any room for taking care of others after that, then they're in luck!

Dog training is a crazy mixed up world though. You can get people from all walks of life, of all ages, with all kinds of experience. At least on this forum those that are here to stay are shooting for the same side. I don't think I could cope with a forum where OTHER theories held as much sway as positive attitudes towards training. As I have been swiftly finding out when researching 'next puppy' breeds.

[wvvdiup1]

How about the ones we've answered, but they still insist they have another way and do it, only to make the issue or problem worse, then they come back and say "My dog(s) is (are) still doing (the issue or problems the dog(s) is (are) doing)? It's as though they don't listen!

The irony in this is that if we've learned patience from our dogs, then how come we haven't learned it when dealing with people?

[Jindo]

Little off topic but I do know what you mean when it's irritating to find such ignorant pet owners.

My friend was telling me she wanted to get a cat recently and I told her to adopt one from a shelter.
Then she told me something that I have never in my entire life have heard anyone say.
My friend: "But if I get a cat from a shelter, I can't just give it away."
Me: "Why would you give it away?"
My friend: "What if I get bored of it?"

And the sad part is she wasn't even joking, she was being COMPLETELY serious. I told her to not bother even trying to get a cat after she told me that. I don't even think she understands that animals have feelings and different personalities.