new dog skittish around men

Get to know other Positively members here.

Moderators: emmabeth, BoardHost

Post Reply
quietbrook
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Mar 30, 2008 7:57 am
Location: Memphis, Tn
Contact:

new dog skittish around men

Post by quietbrook » Sun Mar 30, 2008 9:17 am

Hello everyone!

I am hoping someone will have some advice that will help me help my sweet Murphy.

We (my husband and myself) adopted a lovely red Golden Retriever mix from a rescue shelter about one month ago. (They said he was a Retriever Chow mix cos of his spotted tongue, but I don't think so.) In any case, he's beautiful. My husband spotted him right away and fell in love with him, So he came home with us. The only information that the shelter had was that he was found there at their facility along with a another dog, and it appeared that someone had simply "put them out" there.
He was already slightly skittish while we were there, with his tail all tucked under him, but not to the point of just cowering away from a touch. And was very calm around children. (Important because we have a three year old grand daughter at home)
Once home, we tried to make sure that he knew he was safe that no one would hurt him. Within a week his tail was up, and he seemed to be happy. With me. But he is sooooo skittish around my husband! Not to the point of cowering, mind you, but extremely cautious and wary. He will allow Bob to take him outside with the lead to the back yard, but will not allow him to bring him back in. He runs circles around him like he wants to play, but if approached, even gently by him, he runs away. When I go outside, he runs happily to me and lowers his head for the lead. Inside, he's great. He loves the baby and is so gentle an tolerant of her, as well as my daughter. It's men that he is wary of. Never barking or growling, but just so unsure. We think he's just never been around men and just doesn't know what to do around them. He doesn't flinch or cower when Bob pets him, but he does seem to even walk carefully around him.
He is also afraid of things. He almost ran away with my arm when I tried to take him outside with my umbrella in the rain, it frightened him so. (The umbrella, not the rain. A true Retriever, he loved the rain.)

I apologize for the length of my first post, but we really love this big red sweetheart. Any advise will be appreciated. My husband loved him on site and wanted to adopt him, and it makes me kinda sad that Murphy is so skittish around him.
Thanks!
Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste well with ketchup.

danabanana
Posts: 203
Joined: Wed Nov 28, 2007 9:21 am
Location: NE England

Post by danabanana » Sun Mar 30, 2008 9:35 am

aw you haven't had him long yet, he will come around.

sure others on here will have practical tips!

Ocelot0411
Posts: 587
Joined: Thu May 24, 2007 7:30 am

Post by Ocelot0411 » Sun Mar 30, 2008 1:17 pm

My one year old ***** can be a bit nervous of men, the taller they are the more wary she is. I think in her case its just a matter of men are big and because of that alone more scary than us girls.

That said though I have had my girl since she was seven weeks old and therefore know that she has never had a bad experience with men. Yours being a rescue dog however, you can't be entirely sure of this so perhaps a bit more caution should be employed.

You could e right though and it may just be that he is not used to being around men combined with the fact that men are naturally a bit more intimidating.

Owdb1tch
Posts: 262
Joined: Sun Dec 02, 2007 1:57 pm

Post by Owdb1tch » Sun Mar 30, 2008 1:25 pm

It's hard when you all love him and want him to be close-in family, but what this chap really needs is space. Hubby needs to back off, avoid eye contact, avoid touching or speaking to Murphy, and give Murphy time to come to him.

However long it takes is how long it takes. Hard on all of you I know, but dogs really do appreciate being given time and space to sort themselves out.

The day Murph does approach hubby, he should be given the briefest of eye contacts, a soft word or two, a little scratch somewhere non-confrontational like chest or side (never ever head) and ignored again.

Won't be long before he idolises your husband. :D
Find the cause, find the cure.




A dog is never 'bad' or 'naughty'. It is simply behaving like a dog.

quietbrook
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Mar 30, 2008 7:57 am
Location: Memphis, Tn
Contact:

Post by quietbrook » Sun Mar 30, 2008 1:59 pm

Thank you so much.

Happily my girls and their children have all been around animals enough to know to let the animal get to know and trust them before trying to pet or touch them. But it's so hard when they want so badly to get him past whatever he went through before we adopted him. The vet says he's about 9 or 10 months old, so still a puppy. He's just so sweet that one wants to just hug him.

thank you so much, and any other words of wisdom will be greatly appreciated!
Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste well with ketchup.

quietbrook
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Mar 30, 2008 7:57 am
Location: Memphis, Tn
Contact:

Post by quietbrook » Sun Mar 30, 2008 2:03 pm

Thank you so much.

Happily my girls and their children have all been around animals enough to know to let the animal get to know and trust them before trying to pet or touch them. But it's so hard when they want so badly to get him past whatever he went through before we adopted him. The vet says he's about 9 or 10 months old, so still a puppy. He's just so sweet that one wants to just hug him.

thank you so much, and any other words of wisdom will be greatly appreciated!
Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste well with ketchup.

Post Reply