The Funnies Thread...

[wvvdiup1]

[wvvdiup1]

This is for all you who are on Facebook:

[Fundog]

Oh, the one with the dog stuck in the car seat just made my day--- oh my gosh, that was cute!

[Horace's Mum]

I know a few of you are riders, so here are the stages of aging on horseback.....

The Stages of Aging on Horseback

Stage I: Fall off pony. Bounce. Laugh. Climb back on. Repeat.

Stage 2: Fall off horse. Run after horse, cussing. Climb back on by shimmying up horse's neck. Ride until sundown.
... ...
Stage 3: Fall off horse. Use sleeve of shirt to stanch bleeding. Have friend help you get back on horse. Take two Advil and apply ice packs when you get home. Ride next day.

Stage 4: Fall off horse. Refuse advice to call ambulance; drive self to urgent care clinic. Entertain nursing staff with tales of previous daredevil stunts on horseback. Back to riding before cast comes off.

Stage 5: Fall off horse. Temporarily forget name of horse and name of husband. Flirt shamelessly with paramedics when they arrive. Spend week in hospital while titanium pins are screwed in place. Start riding again before doctor gives official okay.

Stage 6: Fall off horse. Fail to see any humor when hunky paramedic says, "You again?" Gain firsthand knowledge of advances in medical technology thanks to stint in ICU. Convince self that permanent limp isn't that noticeable. Promise husband you'll give up riding. One week later purchase older, slower, shorter horse.

Stage 7: Slip off horse. Relieved when artificial joints and implanted medical devices seem unaffected. Tell husband that scrapes and bruises are due to gardening accident. Pretend you don't see husband roll his eyes and mutter as he walks away. Give apple to horse.

Stage 8: Go to see horse. Momentarily consider riding but remember arthritis won't let you lift leg high enough to reach stirrup -- even when on mounting block. Share beer with grateful horse & recall "good old days".

And then there is Stage 9: Where you buy a pony and teach it to pull a cart......

[Suzette]

Loved that Horace's Mum! I guess I'm at stage three. I don't fall off, but I do take Advil before my rides now!

[wvvdiup1]

Horace's Mum wrote: I know a few of you are riders, so here are the stages of aging on horseback.....

The Stages of Aging on Horseback

Stage I: Fall off pony. Bounce. Laugh. Climb back on. Repeat.

Stage 2: Fall off horse. Run after horse, cussing. Climb back on by shimmying up horse's neck. Ride until sundown.
... ...
Stage 3: Fall off horse. Use sleeve of shirt to stanch bleeding. Have friend help you get back on horse. Take two Advil and apply ice packs when you get home. Ride next day.

Stage 4: Fall off horse. Refuse advice to call ambulance; drive self to urgent care clinic. Entertain nursing staff with tales of previous daredevil stunts on horseback. Back to riding before cast comes off.

Stage 5: Fall off horse. Temporarily forget name of horse and name of husband. Flirt shamelessly with paramedics when they arrive. Spend week in hospital while titanium pins are screwed in place. Start riding again before doctor gives official okay.

Stage 6: Fall off horse. Fail to see any humor when hunky paramedic says, "You again?" Gain firsthand knowledge of advances in medical technology thanks to stint in ICU. Convince self that permanent limp isn't that noticeable. Promise husband you'll give up riding. One week later purchase older, slower, shorter horse.

Stage 7: Slip off horse. Relieved when artificial joints and implanted medical devices seem unaffected. Tell husband that scrapes and bruises are due to gardening accident. Pretend you don't see husband roll his eyes and mutter as he walks away. Give apple to horse.

Stage 8: Go to see horse. Momentarily consider riding but remember arthritis won't let you lift leg high enough to reach stirrup -- even when on mounting block. Share beer with grateful horse & recall "good old days".

And then there is Stage 9: Where you buy a pony and teach it to pull a cart......

[jacksdad]

I made it to stage 3.5 (aka stage 4 without the cast) before my riding days ended...

[thepennywhistle]

Excluding the artificial hardware, I'm in horseless misery at stage 8.5 -- 0.5 from having given
away last filly bred as she was too young to retire. Now once again longing for Stage 9 thanks
to Oya and Gossip, making friends roll their eyes and make annoying comments when I mention it....

[Nettle]

I used to drive horses, and I found it a lot harder and more dangerous than riding them.... I had permanently bruised ankles from trying to get into a moving vehicle. No way could I do that now.

[Horace's Mum]

Ooops, sorry Pennywhistle! I have to agree with Nettle, I think driving is far more dangerous than riding, but I also think that driving ponies are far better behaved than their ridden counterparts - they have to be simply to get them in a carriage at all!

I'm not sure there is a stage for me, I don't do falling off and started driving at 17, so does that make me a young old codger or does it bode badly for the future?! I hope this isn't a plan for the babies!!

[thepennywhistle]

Huh. Thank you for sharing that information with me, but...well...damn.
That's a serious bummer.

I had driven someone else's pony years ago, and thought it great fun and a
possibility for senior years. Dallas was very patient and would never volunteer
anything if it meant expending energy, so driving was simple and felt very safe.
Besides, It always looks so easy and pastoral when you see someone on the TV doing it.

sigh* I do thank you both, Nettle and Horace's Mum, for the warnings. I dare
not risk even one more good crash, or there is a chance I might not walk anymore,
according to the experts. So I guess all that is left for me is to go the the local
equine rescue and see if somebody needs a quiet grooming. That much I know I
can still do. At least I'll still be able to sniff some sunwarmed manes

[wvvdiup1]

I've been bucked off into a big pile of horse manure; broke my right arm on a tree branch when the horse I was riding ran through the woods at full speed; and have broken my left leg when another horse I was riding jumped the fence and over a passing car. Still, I kept getting back on a horse. I guess between my love of riding horses and my stubbornness got the best of me!

[Horace's Mum]

No no no pennywhistle, give it a go! Just make sure you have a good teacher and a good pony. The danger comes when you have novices driving novices, people who don't take the time to research it and learn it properly, or the other end of the scale at competition. As long as you do your homework it is as safe as doing anything with horses - and in terms of falling off it is much safer. It's more that when it goes wrong it can be more horrible, because of the carriage attached, causes more damage than just a loose horse. But do give it a go, with lots of experienced help, it is so much fun, and so many people do it because they can't ride.

Just to inspire you, this is me last winter with a friends' pony

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKjDfW2rz1g

[Nettle]

No no no pennywhistle, give it a go! Just make sure you have a good teacher and a good pony

Yes, absolutely my driving was rather 'extreme' as I was working for a dealer breaking-in, and also drove a stallion.

Never ever drive alone.
Start off with rock-steady Neddies.
Never drive alone.
Make sure vehicle and harness is tip-top and fits the pony/ies - you need everything in balance.
Never drive alone.
Wear gloves and hard hat and strong boots, and if driving in traffic, fluorescent jackets and flourescent strip on whip handle.
Never drive alone.

[jacksdad]

No no no pennywhistle, give it a go! Just make sure you have a good teacher and a good pony

Yes, absolutely my driving was rather 'extreme' as I was working for a dealer breaking-in, and also drove a stallion.

Never ever drive alone.
Start off with rock-steady Neddies.
Never drive alone.
Make sure vehicle and harness is tip-top and fits the pony/ies - you need everything in balance.
Never drive alone.
Wear gloves and hard hat and strong boots, and if driving in traffic, fluorescent jackets and flourescent strip on whip handle.
Never drive alone.

hummm...I might be a little thick sometimes, but I am thinking one of the keys is to never drive alone...