Have had a good old chuckle at those wvvdiup1, especially the pole dancing mom
Some of the following are brilliant:
Take a couple minutes and have a good chuckle. These sentences (with all the typos) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.'
The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house.
Bring your husbands.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
Smile at someone who is hard to love.
Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation...
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 pm - prayer and medication to follow.
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 am. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 pm. Please use the back door.
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7pm.
The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 pm at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday:
"I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours".
The Funnies Thread...
Moderators: emmabeth, BoardHost
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Re: The Funnies Thread...
Proud owner of Ted and baby Ella
My blog about Ted http://tinkerwolf.com/
Ted's Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/Tinkerwolf
Ted's You Tube Channel http://www.youtube.com/user/TheTedVids
My blog about Ted http://tinkerwolf.com/
Ted's Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/Tinkerwolf
Ted's You Tube Channel http://www.youtube.com/user/TheTedVids
Re: The Funnies Thread...
Oh you made me nearly cry with laughing at those
I think I must adopt "gracious hostility" as a lifestyle.
I think I must adopt "gracious hostility" as a lifestyle.
A dog is never bad or naughty - it is simply being a dog
SET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS
SET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS
Re: The Funnies Thread...
that's some funny stuff right there. oh man...that made my day.
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Re: The Funnies Thread...
They make me laugh every time I read them, I really can't even pick a favourite
I might get myself an electric girdle for the cold weather
I might get myself an electric girdle for the cold weather
Proud owner of Ted and baby Ella
My blog about Ted http://tinkerwolf.com/
Ted's Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/Tinkerwolf
Ted's You Tube Channel http://www.youtube.com/user/TheTedVids
My blog about Ted http://tinkerwolf.com/
Ted's Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/Tinkerwolf
Ted's You Tube Channel http://www.youtube.com/user/TheTedVids
Re: The Funnies Thread...
Clare - those are too funny! Thanks for posting that!
My avatar is Piper, my sweet Pembroke Corgi. b. 5/11/11
Re: The Funnies Thread...
I was laughing so much my furries got freaked out so I had to take a break before I could finish
Operant conditioning rocks but classical conditioning rules
Re: The Funnies Thread...
I remember getting stuff like that, and read I read them, I laughed my behind off! Come to think of it, I still do!
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Re: The Funnies Thread...
You know... those have been passed on to me in emails several times, but.... I still had to stop and wipe my eyes, while trying to stifle my howls of laughter into breathless "khee--khee--khee" sounds. My son finally had to know what I was laughing about, and came to read over my shoulder, also laughing--- even though he too has read these before.
(Cough, cough) Now I'm all congested from laughing too hard.
(Cough, cough) Now I'm all congested from laughing too hard.
If an opportunity comes to you in life, say yes first, even if you don't know how to do it.
Re: The Funnies Thread...
I had not seen some of these before. While it is a shame that people don't proof read things better, we certainly would miss out on some seriously funny stuff if all those errors were caught before publishing.
Grammy to Sky and Sirius, who came to live with me, stole my heart, and changed my life forever as I took over their care and learned how to be a dog owner.
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Re: The Funnies Thread...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJrupqPq ... detailpage
This is a Japanese Transformer Owl video. He's actually a Southern Whitefaced owl,
but this video shows two of his threat displays and the second one is hard to believe.
I know it's not funny to let a poor little owl feel threatened, but I didn't do it, and
Evil Owl really is is worth a look....
This is a Japanese Transformer Owl video. He's actually a Southern Whitefaced owl,
but this video shows two of his threat displays and the second one is hard to believe.
I know it's not funny to let a poor little owl feel threatened, but I didn't do it, and
Evil Owl really is is worth a look....
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Re: The Funnies Thread...
A five year old's definition of Semi-circle:
"Oh, like the moon, when someone pulls their pants down and shows their butt cheeks!"
(True Story-- I heard it just Saturday night, and had to get more context from the five year old's big sister)
"Oh, like the moon, when someone pulls their pants down and shows their butt cheeks!"
(True Story-- I heard it just Saturday night, and had to get more context from the five year old's big sister)
If an opportunity comes to you in life, say yes first, even if you don't know how to do it.
Re: The Funnies Thread...
Fundog wrote: A five year old's definition of Semi-circle:
"Oh, like the moon, when someone pulls their pants down and shows their butt cheeks!"
(True Story-- I heard it just Saturday night, and had to get more context from the five year old's big sister)
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- Location: London, UK
Re: The Funnies Thread...
Watched this last night and am STILL freaked out by itthepennywhistle wrote:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJrupqPq ... detailpage
This is a Japanese Transformer Owl video. He's actually a Southern Whitefaced owl,
but this video shows two of his threat displays and the second one is hard to believe.
I know it's not funny to let a poor little owl feel threatened, but I didn't do it, and
Evil Owl really is is worth a look....
Oh and I have a 2.5 hour car journey today with a chihuahua who's sporting a lovely fresh dash of Eau de fox poo, funny if you're not me
Proud owner of Ted and baby Ella
My blog about Ted http://tinkerwolf.com/
Ted's Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/Tinkerwolf
Ted's You Tube Channel http://www.youtube.com/user/TheTedVids
My blog about Ted http://tinkerwolf.com/
Ted's Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/Tinkerwolf
Ted's You Tube Channel http://www.youtube.com/user/TheTedVids
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Re: The Funnies Thread...
Just because it's a stickman doesn't mean that all hell won't break loose.
http://www.drawastickman.com/
http://www.drawastickman.com/
Re: The Funnies Thread...
The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon by Richard Gale
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VDvgL58h_Y
Spoiler: The weapon is a spoon.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VDvgL58h_Y
Spoiler: The weapon is a spoon.