How to Greet a Dog


Question: “My dog is great with people most of the time but sometime when strangers rush up to him when we’re on our walks, he backs off and growls. The behavior seems to be getting worse. Why does he do this?”

Answer: The problem here is that people don’t know how to politely greet your dog. All would be well if humans heeded the two golden rules—never pet a dog without owner permission, and always let the dog make first contact.  Instead well-wishers approach too quickly, crowd too closely or loom over like a thunderstorm ready to dump its load. Under this pressure some dogs will freeze or shrink, pretending it’s all a bad dream. Others take action—usually a reflex bark or low-level growl. A few successes here and the message is loud and clear: when strangers approach, growl and bark to keep them away. Pretty soon, your sweet, slightly insecure dog has turned into a mass of defensive rumbling.

Many humans can’t understand why Fido would be afraid of them when they’re obviously making friendly human gestures. Turn the tables around and the picture becomes clear. Say you’re afraid of spiders and your friend shoves her pet tarantula in your face. If she simultaneously reassures you, “She’s a friendly tarantula. See her amicable expression?” or “She can’t cause harm, she’s just an innocent baby,” would you suddenly feel safe?

No, in fact the only way you could get used to the spider is if you greeted it at your own pace. That means it would have to be on a table or in some locations where you could control your distance from it. Then when you were ready you could gradually approach for a closer look and to even touch it. The same goes for dogs. All dogs are not outgoing or used to meeting many types of strangers, especially if they were already shy when you adopted them or have received minimal supervised socialization with many types of humans. If you walk into a dog’s personal space or even stand and reach out to touch him he may feel threatened or be unsure of your intentions. If however, you stand straight up or crouch down on one knee while look slightly away, then he can approach and sniff you at his own rate. Once he’s relaxed then you can calmly pet him under the chin and neck or on the side of the front half of his body. Offering treats that the shy Fido can choose to take out of your hand while you’re looking away from him will speed the friendship process and will teach Fido to associate unfamiliar people with good things.

Often people manage to get through the initial greeting with Fido okay but then they make a quick or inappropriate move that scares him into snapping or running away. This is still similar to the situation with the giant spider. Even when you’re finally comfortable enough to examine and touch the tarantula, if it suddenly moves its mouthparts or waves one of its legs in the air you might jump away out of fright. To you these movements may conjure images of the tarantula leaping at you and taking a bite whereas to the tarantula the movements may just be a subconscious change in position or even a signal that it’s your friend. So the trick to ensuring that you don’t frighten Fido even after the initial greeting is to gradually get him used to you in different positions. Avoid learning over him or reaching over his head or grabbing and hugging him so he feels confined. Instead move slowly and smoothly in order to give him a chance to back away. Most importantly, always be aware of the signals he’s sending you with his body language. Is he tense and fearful with eyes darting back and forth or his gaze looking away while he’s cringing submissively? Or is he yawning, flickering his tongue in and out of the front of his mouth, or panting with his lips drawn way back to the sides? These are signs of conflict or anxiety.  In all of these cases make sure you give him his space.

If his pupils are hugely dilated or pinpoint and he’s suddenly stiff and completely motionless or giving you a hard stare, it’s a little late because he’s probably about to bite.  But if you still have time, you can calmly avert your gaze and back away out of reach.

The body language you’d like to see when greeting a dog is one that says this whole business is ho-hum. The dog should remain relaxed and his gaze should be steady and soft. His tail should either wag or hang loosely down. If humans would let dogs approach them at their own pace and would even make treats magically appear on the ground around them without pressuring the dog to allowing being petted, they would experience many good dog greetings and help Fido experience good greetings too.

For more information on dog body language, fear, and how to greet correctly while making the pet more comfortable:

Read and see the photos and video clips in chapter 2,3,4,5 of the Free Low Stress Handling and Behavior Modification of Dogs & Cats Online Abridged Version. (

Read the article Seven Tips for Preventing Dog Bites in Animal Care Professionals and Dog Lovers

This is a revised excerpt from How to Behave So Your Dog Behaves by Sophia Yin

© 2004, 2010 TFH Publications

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Positively Expert: Sophia Yin

Dr. Yin is an internationally-acclaimed veterinarian and applied animal behaviorist who lectures and teaches workshops to dog trainers, shelter workers, and veterinary staff, and is the author of three books including a veterinary textbook and DVD set on behavior. Her "pet-friendly" techniques have set the standard of care for veterinarians.


2 thoughts on “How to Greet a Dog

  1. Tonya

    I have a Great Dane who HATES having strangers rush up to him & pat him on the head. They come at him like they're old friends. THEY AREN'T! My husband and I try to be as proactive as we can, but you would be amazed how uneducated people are about dogs! I don't want to loose my dane because someone couldn't take the time to ask if it was OK to meet him. Please, if you take nothing else away from this article, let it be ASK PERMISSION BEFORE YOU PET A STRANGE DOG!

  2. Emma

    I agree with the other poster. People should not rush up to other people and start touching them. How would you like it if someone did that to you? My dog has feelings. He is not a toy. Even if he is a toy, he is mine, on a leash, and I do not appreciate strangers rushing up to touch whatever I have in my hands.
    People sometimes ask "is he friendly"? If I tell the truth, which is yes, then they take that as a permission to touch. They only care about if it is safe for them. They never asked if I want my dog touched. So I have to lie and say he is not friendly. Then people get upset and start saying my dog is a mean dog.
    If you want to know how to greet a dog, learn how to greet a person first. Talk to the person on the other end of the leash. If you can't be friendly with the owner, then keep your hands off the dog.

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