One puppy very social, the other antisocial

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Olivebelle
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Joined: Sun Nov 20, 2016 5:24 pm

One puppy very social, the other antisocial

Post by Olivebelle »

We've had two puppies (husky/lab/German shepherd mix) that are now 12 weeks old and we've had since 5 weeks (abnormal circumstances). One puppy is very social (loves meeting dogs and people), full of energy, and very voiceful with her barks. Her brother, who is quite a bit bigger, has such a quiet demeaner (which I love). However he doesn't like meeting people, being held or pet by them, and is scared of other dogs. He only likes myself and my husband (and we are very cuddly with him, he is a gentle puppy). I've taken them to one day of doggy daycare and when I picked them up he was very whiny for me and to come home. I took him to the pet retail store yesterday where we could hear the owner's dog, and he was literally shaking in my arms. I'm okay with him not loving everyone but I don't want him to be aggressive with dogs or people when he's older.
Do you guys think this is a problem, or are some dogs just like this?

FYI he previously had litter mate syndrome but we've managed it by seperate crates and feeding them separate (different parts of the room) and occasional seperate walks.
Side note, sometimes I feel like his sister bullies him because she is smaller and faster so when he's laying down chewing on a toy, she easily hops up and takes it away. Is that normal puppy play (I'm sure sometimes it is but I don't think he ALWAYS wants to play with her, just chill and play with his own toy).

Thanks for reading this far! These are just the first of many questions I have!
Suzette
Posts: 1518
Joined: Sun Jun 26, 2011 6:45 am

Re: One puppy very social, the other antisocial

Post by Suzette »

Hi and welcome!! I would suggest reposting this in the dog training advice section. You will be sure to get some help there. :)
My avatar is Piper, my sweet Pembroke Corgi. b. 5/11/11
JudyN
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Joined: Tue Jul 26, 2011 1:20 pm
Location: Dorset, UK
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Re: One puppy very social, the other antisocial

Post by JudyN »

I'll move it for you :D
Jasper, lurcher, born December 2009
jacksdad
Posts: 4887
Joined: Thu Dec 10, 2009 10:48 pm

Re: One puppy very social, the other antisocial

Post by jacksdad »

Olivebelle wrote:We've had two puppies (husky/lab/German shepherd mix) that are now 12 weeks old and we've had since 5 weeks (abnormal circumstances). One puppy is very social (loves meeting dogs and people), full of energy, and very voiceful with her barks. Her brother, who is quite a bit bigger, has such a quiet demeaner (which I love). However he doesn't like meeting people, being held or pet by them, and is scared of other dogs. He only likes myself and my husband (and we are very cuddly with him, he is a gentle puppy). I've taken them to one day of doggy daycare and when I picked them up he was very whiny for me and to come home. I took him to the pet retail store yesterday where we could hear the owner's dog, and he was literally shaking in my arms. I'm okay with him not loving everyone but I don't want him to be aggressive with dogs or people when he's older.
Do you guys think this is a problem, or are some dogs just like this?
not wanting to meet other people, other dogs, play with other dogs etc. not necessarily going to be a problem later. Truth is we can't tell the future. It is NOT as important that he goes up to other people and dogs as it is that he doesn't "flip out" when other people/dogs are near by. And that is where I am going to suggest you put your efforts. For now focus on him simply being able to look at other dogs, pass other dogs, etc same for people if people bother him. playing with other dogs, allowing people to pet him etc... IF he is already showing fear of those experiences, having him experiencing them over and over so that he "learns" they are "ok" isn't going to help, and could make things worse. learning can't happen when you are in a state of fear.

when we have shy puppies in class we STRESS to the owners to NOT force their puppies into social situations the puppy is not ready for or comfortable with yet. we have had puppies hid under their person's chair for weeks....then suddenly decide "ok, now I am ready". Others take cautious steps, only go so far and run back under the chair..."regroup" and come out again later and little by little they begin interacting with the other puppies.

The key is to NOT force things. Keep the puppy feeling safe and letting him explore the world at his own pace. this is not "coddling", this is not "babying" etc. this is actually the responsible thing to do.

if doggy day care scares him, stop going to doggy day care. if allowing other dogs to come up to him scares him...stop allowing other dogs to come up to him. if he continues to experience things that scare him and cause distress that increases the risk he might choose aggression to deal with these experiences.

So, what can you do actively training wise? There will be a safe distance from the things that scare your dog. keep that distance as best you can. when your dog looks at scary... Dog gets a bit of SUPER YUMMY food. go all out. typically store bought "treats" won't be sufficient. Real chicken, real steak, real hot dogs, cheese, etc. are often what it takes.

we are not looking for super specific behaviors like when we are training a sit or down or leave it. we are "playing" with a different type of learning by creating associations with something in the environment and that something causes food to happen. The dog learns to associate scary with something good, tasty, feeling safe etc vs being afraid.

scary is noticed, dog looks at scary....food happens.
scary approaches, dog looks at scary....food happens.
scary walks by, dog notices....food happens
dog walks past scary, notices...food happen.

Olivebelle wrote: Side note, sometimes I feel like his sister bullies him because she is smaller and faster so when he's laying down chewing on a toy, she easily hops up and takes it away. Is that normal puppy play (I'm sure sometimes it is but I don't think he ALWAYS wants to play with her, just chill and play with his own toy).
My rule of thumb...error on the side of caution to start. if it looks like bulling, it might be.

without being there to see the interaction, the signally the dogs are giving each other, how your male is reacting to the female, how the female is actually behaving, body language etc. it is not possible to know if there is really a problem over the internet.

But if you are concerned you will not do any harm if you separate the two and give the male a break. Nor will it cause any issues of you setup time for him to play with his toys and you without the female involved.

we can go into more detail about any of this if you need. If I am not around to answer, there are others hanging around that can provide advice.
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