Just a little rant about being 'over protective'

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Jemymah
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Just a little rant about being 'over protective'

Post by Jemymah » Sun Aug 06, 2017 1:10 pm

Just back from the in-laws and need to have a little vent.
We have always gone to theirs on a Sunday but since we've got the pup we've only been going for a few hours and not having dinner.
So today one of the order nieces was over and she loves animals. I thought it was weird that she didn't make any move towards the pup until later when her mum said 'oh I told her that you were very protective'.
What??? I do keep Casey on a short leash in the house because she will lick the floor for food scraps, truffle the bins etc. (You'd think we didn't feed her.) And I didn't let one of the young kids take her out unaccompanied for a wee last week. And I may have gently suggested that one of the kids not get right in her face, and that they not cuddle her so tightly. (She's relatively untested with kids.)
And I may have said that we wouldn't be putting her in the porch with the cat to let them 'make friends'.
Oh, and I did say to mum in law to let go of her collar and stop shouting 'sit' in her face as that isn't the way we're training her.
But that's it I think. I don't think that's being over protective really. Maybe I'm being a bit over sensitive, lol.
I did get a bit pissed off last week when one of the family tried to take her leash to 'give me a break'. When I said pup was fine at my feet I was told 'oh I know, she's your baby'. We found out a few months ago that we can't have kids and they know this so I may have taken that remark not quite as the throwaway comment it was meant to be.
All wee silly things, and probably not really worth venting over but feels good to write them down and get them out! Thanks for listening!
Casey, spaniel terrier mix, born Dec 2016

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Shalista
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Re: Just a little rant about being 'over protective'

Post by Shalista » Sun Aug 06, 2017 1:34 pm

oh i know the feeling well =P i get that all the time. im the only member of my family that practices positive dog training. the good news is they'll get used to it :lol: after four years of dealing with me insisting that no, you cant yell at my dog, and no, you cant squeeze him around the neck in a headlock/hug, and no, please dont hit the doggy, just gentle pats please.... they eventually got the hang of it =P the just accept that im weird and a bit dog obsessed and that "just the way shali is" now

just keep doing you and protecting your pup and the rest will come into line eventually. especially when they see the good results you get with your pup!
Baxter (AKA Bax, Chuckles, Chuckster) Rat Terrier, born 01/16/13

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JudyN
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Re: Just a little rant about being 'over protective'

Post by JudyN » Sun Aug 06, 2017 1:39 pm

Jemymah wrote:
Sun Aug 06, 2017 1:10 pm
We found out a few months ago that we can't have kids and they know this so I may have taken that remark not quite as the throwaway comment it was meant to be.
I'm sorry :( That was really quite a hurtful and tactless comment.

As for the rest of it... try to rise above it. You're not being overprotective but your family have different ideas about how to relate to dogs and it takes a lot for some people to come round. And it's a MAJOR positive that your aunt told your niece not to approach Casey and that she respected that. Most family members seem to ignore requests not to handle your dog like a toy.
Jasper, lurcher, born December 2009

Jemymah
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Joined: Thu Jun 15, 2017 2:18 pm

Re: Just a little rant about being 'over protective'

Post by Jemymah » Sun Aug 06, 2017 2:14 pm

Aww thanks for reading and your kind words Shali and JudyN!

4 years Shali! It's only been 3 weeks so far, I may get myself a big bottle of rescue remedy.

I did feel the baby comment was a bit insensitive JudyN. I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it, just a thoughtless comment but it really stung.

It feels good to have my little rant, I'd had a bit of a grumble on the way home last week to husband but as he points out, what can he do? No point mentioning anything, they'd get upset and he's right. So I thought I'll have a little grumble on the forum this week instead. Much better!

We're off on our first camping trip next week (weather permitting) so no in-laws visit. I'll have my happy face on the week after and give rising above my best shot.

Thanks again!
Casey, spaniel terrier mix, born Dec 2016

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Suzette
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Location: Upstate SC

Re: Just a little rant about being 'over protective'

Post by Suzette » Mon Aug 07, 2017 1:11 pm

I find some of the same in my family too. All are dog lovers and care very well for them, but even they think training positively is just me "pampering" my dog. And it's been over six years now... <sigh>
My avatar is Piper, my sweet Pembroke Corgi. b. 5/11/11

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Nettle
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Re: Just a little rant about being 'over protective'

Post by Nettle » Tue Aug 08, 2017 3:42 am

My goodness - if that's 'over-protective' I wonder what they'd say about me? :lol: NOBODY gets to touch or otherwise interact with my dogs unless I allow it - and I mostly don't. Like-minded dog owners I walk with at times ignore my dogs and I ignore theirs. The result is that all dogs are happy with each other and each owner. If they initiate contact, it is given.


I have nice-natured dogs with no issues, and it is staying that way! My dogs are not toys for other people.

So I reckon you are doing the very best for your dog, and that's what matters.
A dog is never bad or naughty - it is simply being a dog

SET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS

Jemymah
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Re: Just a little rant about being 'over protective'

Post by Jemymah » Thu Aug 10, 2017 3:54 pm

Aww thanks Nettle and Suzette, everyone's so lovely on this forum! :D
Casey, spaniel terrier mix, born Dec 2016

jacksdad
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Re: Just a little rant about being 'over protective'

Post by jacksdad » Sat Aug 12, 2017 2:50 pm

JudyN wrote:
Sun Aug 06, 2017 1:39 pm
Jemymah wrote:
Sun Aug 06, 2017 1:10 pm
We found out a few months ago that we can't have kids and they know this so I may have taken that remark not quite as the throwaway comment it was meant to be.
I'm sorry :( That was really quite a hurtful and tactless comment.
no kidding that was tactless. I would also include inappropriate.

I will say this... LOL "over protective" :roll: because if what Jemymah describes is being over protective... I would love to know what her in laws would say about how I start out with fearful dogs.

Jemymah
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Joined: Thu Jun 15, 2017 2:18 pm

Re: Just a little rant about being 'over protective'

Post by Jemymah » Mon Aug 14, 2017 2:47 pm

Thanks jacksdad, we had a Sunday off this weekend and went camping, Casey did great in an unexpectedly noisy campsite, so by next weekend I'll have taken some deep calming breaths. We're not going to shift from positive training, it just makes sense to us.
Casey, spaniel terrier mix, born Dec 2016

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